The coach of the Ohio State women's rowing team sat the team down at practice on the morning of Oct. 14, 2005 and told them there had been an accident the night before.
One of their teammates, Nichole Meifert, 21, a senior in Wildlife and Forestry, had been hit by a car while riding her bike in the crosswalk of Lane Avenue at Tuttle Park. Nikki, as her friends and family knew her, was in critical condition and in a coma.
Katie Ignasiak, 20, a junior majoring in International Business Administration, was Meifert's best friend.
"I went to see Nikki and her family at the hospital every day I could. I would talk with her and her family and get updates on her progress," she said.
Meifert stayed in a coma for more than four months until she passed away on February 24, 2006.
"I am very sad and will be for quite some time," Ignasiak said. "I lost the best friend I ever had. I find myself losing focus in class because I can't stop thinking about her, but I know she would want me to do well. I won't let her down."
Anne Deffenbaugh, a counseling intern at Ohio State Counseling and Consultation Service, said it is common for people to go through fits of intense sadness, crying, difficulty concentrating at school or work and a lack of interest in doing activities they enjoy after experiencing a loss of a loved one.
She said if these symptoms continue for a long period of time after a loss, without signs of improvement, or if at any time after the loss there are suicidal thoughts, then students should seek help from a counselor.
"Counseling and Consultation Service provides individual counseling as well as a support group, Memory Circle, for people who are dealing with the loss of a loved one. The group meets weekly and provides a safe and confidential space for students to process their loss and how it may be impacting their lives," Deffenbaugh said.
Kimi Remenyi, a junior in Human Development and Family Science, has been dealing with an ill parent for more than four months. Her father Peter, 51, has marginal zone lymphoma, and Remenyi tries to help out as much as she can.
"It scares me, but I just try and stay positive," Remenyi said. "It's really stressful when my dad has to go to the hospital. I know he wants me to do well, so I try to focus as much as possible. It's hard to think about anything else besides the fact that my dad is lying in a hospital bed."
Deffenbaugh said when a parent is sick, "there can be an incredible amount of stress put on a student. They may have additional responsibilities in the family, they may take on a parental role for the siblings, they may become a caregiver for their parent, and they may put their own lives on hold to help the family and parent manage their illness."
Remenyi has missed classes because of her father's illness.
"When he was in the hospital after surgery, everyone had to leave to go to work, but I stayed and took care of him, because I'm just a student and I can afford to miss a few classes," she said.
If a student is going to be absent because of the death or illness of a loved one, Kim Pachell, assistant director of the Student Advocacy Center, recommends that the student notifies his instructors and the Student Advocacy Center.
"We strongly encourage students to make contact with us for a lot of reasons. Not only can we help them by contacting their professors, but we can also connect them with university resources. Depending on the circumstances surrounding the death or illness, there might be a lot of resources that are valuable. We like to make sure they are getting the best assistance possible and thinking about all those little pieces that probably aren't in their forefront right now because of the difficulties they're facing," Pachell said.
If a student needs to drop a class because of a death or illness of a loved one, the Student Advocacy Center can provide them with many options.
"We have lots of options and we have lots more options before the you take the final. Once you take the final you kind of sink yourself in the class. We don't have a lot of alternatives once you complete all of the assignments. But, until that point, we can talk about the possibility of a retroactive action, taking you back to the point where your loved one fell ill. We can do a post-seventh week petition. Based on the circumstances, most college offices would approval a withdrawal dated to the ninth week of the quarter," Pachell said.
OSU policy states that a student can retake any class, regardless of the grade they receive. The grades received for both classes are then averaged.
"I think the university is very accommodating. The more information you share with us, the more helpful you are, the more accommodating we are as administrators and faculty members," Pachell said. "Our hope is that we can show the university isn't a bureaucracy. There are people who really care, a lot of people who really care."
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