Protect your hardware

"Well Ms. Miller, I'm afraid you got this virus because you failed to use proper protection. In the future, you'll need to purchase and properly use two or more methods, but there's no guarantee that this won't happen again."

I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry. On one hand, I had just received a fatal diagnosis, but on the other hand, a geek squad member was giving me a safe sex lecture in the middle of Best Buy. The decision was made for me when he gravely informed me, "The only real safeguard is to abstain from the Internet completely." I collapsed in giggles, utterly confusing the well-meaning clerk. Why was I laughing amidst years of destroyed files and a destroyed-beyond-repair laptop? The massive wall of computer virus protection he gestured to looked remarkably like the condom aisle, right down to the "99 percent effective" packaging.

I laughed harder. My notebook suffered a monumentally expensive coronary because of a nasty virus (probably created by a googly-eyed, smarter-than-I-ever-hope-to-be 14-year-old who enjoys formulating intricate computer codes and gleefully ruining innocent writers' lives) and my own ignorance of its existence. The Best Buy clerk, who sounded remarkably like a sex-ed filmstrip, unknowingly related a useful metaphor: having sex is like using the Internet - globally present, generally unavoidable and dangerous for your hardware. We use anti-virus programs, security features and firewalls to keep our computers safe. We utilize the latest ways to keep our computers from suffering annoying or potentially fatal computer viruses when connecting to the Internet, but do we take the same precautions when "hooking up?"

I discussed this question with Bobbie Mitch, a nurse practitioner who works in women's services at the OSU hospital. She said most of her patients are under-informed about the signs and transmission of sexually transmitted diseases, and many take a passive approach to health care by relying on junior-high hearsay advice. Her frank discussion convinced me that many of us are more technologically literate than sexually literate. In her opinion the "safe sex" idea lulls people into a sense of safety that just isn't there -there is no "safe sex" - only "safer sex."

If you decide to be sexually active, she advocates patient responsibility: Know the risks, get tested and be honest with your partner(s). Take an active role in protecting yourself by getting good information from reliable medical sources and asking questions of your health care provider.

When it comes to our computers, the benefits of using the Internet far outweigh the known risks. When conducting the same risk-benefit analysis for behavior, sex overwhelmingly wins out, but are the factors we use to decide faulty? A recent TV commercial for computer virus protection shows individuals saying things like, "I want to lose all my music files," and "It would be great to lose every digital picture I've ever taken." It's funny, but the sarcastic approach gets the point across.

I think we need a sexual awareness campaign reminding us about sex: "I want to get an STD that will render me infertile for life," or "Wouldn't it be great to pass a virus to everyone I'll ever be intimate with?" In addition to being the gooey hearts-and-flowers Valentine's Day week, it is also Sexual Responsibility Week, promoted by the Student Wellness Center. Their Web site (http://swc.osu.edu) is an excellent resource for anonymous fact-finding, and also explains the many sexual health programs the Center offers. Check it out because taking a few minutes to find out exactly what lurks beyond the scope of "safe sex" just might save you from an ugly virus. And while you're at it, back up your computer files and virus protection software to avoid a total system meltdown.

Rebecca Miller is a senior in psychology. She can be reached for comment at miller.2791@osu.edu.