Reality TV is overrated

Reality television must be stopped. In case you haven't heard, Fox has a few new reality shows, namely "The Rebel Billionaire" and "My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss." These are part of the grand FOX tradition of ripping off other networks' shows, in this case, "The Apprentice."

The leading man in "The Rebel Billionaire" is the founder of Virgin Records, and the winner of his show gets handed the key to his company -and judging from the commercials I see every 5.6 seconds, it's actually a key.

I hate reality television. It's terrible. It plays to the lowest common denominator (the watching a car wreck denominator), it feeds on people's emotions and there is nothing actually "real" about it.

People try to defend reality shows to me and I just can't see it.

"I like watching real emotion," they tell me. Real emotion? I live with 9 guys, their girlfriends, 3 cats and one giant, man-eating possum (he lives in our backyard). Combined with my classes and my job, I figure that I get enough "real emotion."

"But Ben," they tell me, "Reality TV makes money; they must be doing something right."

I love this argument, because, well, if something makes money, then it has to be good. Hey, Smashmouth made money, does that excuse them for recording "All-stars?" I submit that it does not.

One argument I heard for liking Jessica Simpson (and her awful show) was that she "Acts real, she's just being herself."

Maybe we're watching two separate shows, because whenever I see Jessica Simpson I find myself wondering how many years she's put women back. No, really, she could work a real job if she had to; she's not just a pretty face, she's intelligent. Sorry, but I hate her. She ruins songs from "Top Gun," she's on MTV - music television that doesn't have anything to do with actual music- and she supports President Bush. Wow, if that isn't the strongest case for Kerry, I don't know what is.

It boggles my mind that people care more about voting on "American Idol" than they do in elections. "American Idol" is cheating, it skips all the work of becoming a successful rock star. You know, the practice, the toiling in crappy bars and clubs, the whole "writing your own music" part.

Nothing makes me more sick than to hear a Kelly Clarkson song titled "Miss Independent." Independent? Is this some kind of joke? You only have a career because you won a TV contest! Independent?

If you have a CD by either of the Simpson sisters (don't even get me started on Ashlee), little miss independent, or a version of "Bridge Over Troubled Water" not sung by Simon and Garfunkel, we need to have a talk. Send me an e-mail, and I can burn you some CDs.

The shows keep getting worse and worse, and I mostly blame Fox because they just keep lowering the bar. I actually miss the days where reality shows consisted of "Roadkill Caught on Tape" and the like.

People cry that gay marriage and activist judges are destroying the sanctity of marriage. Well, they obviously haven't been watching "The Littlest Groom," "Average Joe," "The Bachelor," "Joe Millionaire" or "Trading Spouses."

Truthfully, I could talk all day about how reality shows exploit the worst of human traits; our selfishness, our dishonesty and our greed. But I gotta go, I'm gonna watch "Seinfeld." Now that's what a show should be about: nothing.

Benjamin Cox is a junior in music history. He can be reached for comment at benny083002@yahoo.com.