There is a growing epidemic saturating college campuses nationwide: the hobby-guitarist.
In nearly every house, apartment or dorm on campus, you can find that guitarist. He's the guy who bought an acoustic guitar as his wing-man in picking up women. He has little or no intention of developing musical talent, and he is constantly impressed with his ability to maintain mediocrity. The first three songs he learns are "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)," "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and "Stairway to Heaven" - and they are usually the last songs he learns.
The small subcategory of this group who actually attempt to write their own music get an "A for effort," but usually nothing more.
I wouldn't be offended if these guys kept their pseudo-musical urges under wraps in their private lives, but, ironically, they never pass up an opportunity to pull out their six-string and bore an unsuspecting crowd. They'll do it at parties, on street corners, at open mic nights or at any bar desperate for a "musician."
Before you click "send" on that hate e-mail you're already working on, realize that I'm not discouraging creative expression. Artistic expression, at its worst, has some value to the artist, and at best, can be life-changing. At some point in their lives, Charlie Parker, Jimi Hendrix and John Lennon probably weren't very good musicians. But they practiced, with determination, and became some of the most influential musicians of our era.
The difference between these musicians and "hobby-musicians" is the drive to learn. Your hacky-sacking neighbor who sings "What I Got" on repeat might not be interested in the complexities of chording - but he should be.
Learning to play music is similar to learning a new language, but many people are content with learning the absolute basics. The result: a stunted musical vocabulary and a limited expressive capacity.
Fortunately, the cure to the epidemic is simple. If you want to be a musician, take lessons and practice hard. People devote their entire lives to music, so it isn't going to be a one-week endeavor. If you can't commit to practice and you don't want to learn, keep the guitar in your room.
Collin Binkley can be reached at binkley.44@osu.edu.
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