Hot sex on the rocks, or washing machine
Published: Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Updated: Saturday, June 16, 2012 01:06
Hi everyone, I hope your weekend was fun - and by fun I mean full of raunchy sex with that special, or unspecial, person. After cleaning out my inbox full of angry e-mails, I've decided to make fun of the entire Jewish religion this week.
Calm down, I'm just kidding. Time to get dirrrty.
Sex is a beautiful thing. Front, back, up, down, sideways, slantways - any way. This week I'm going to explore the creative places my friends have had sex. And of course, we'll get to my faithful readers' responses.
I've known my best friend Marie since we've been in training bras; we practically grew up in the same house. Like any typical teenage girl, when we started liking boys that's all we talked about. How to get them to notice us, how to flirt with them and we even practiced kissing our pillows.
She's been dating a boy on and off for almost four years and surprisingly, never has a dull "sexcapade" to tell me about. Being with someone for a long time can be so frustrating and monotonous. And Marie admitted she has all her boyfriend's moves memorized - from where he puts his hands to when he grabs her hair. Her secret to having stimulating sex every time is trying a new location.
I remember complementing her on a new, black trench coat and, instead of a "thank you," she started laughing.
Marie went to her boyfriend's house well after midnight a few days earlier wearing that trench coat - and just that trench coat. She said the drive to his house was nerve-racking because she wasn't sure how she would explain the nudity to a cop if she got pulled over. Anyway, when she finally got there, she was so nervous she just started laughing. When her boyfriend asked her what was going on, she dropped the coat, walked in and propped herself up on his washing machine.
The backseat is always a popular pick, but my friend Bridget put a twist on this old classic. She described her favorite sex experience: "I was at a drive in movie with my boyfriend. He drives a truck, so when the second movie came on and it was dark, we christened the bed of it. Unfortunately, the second movie was 'Cars,' so any kids walking by probably saw my bare ass."
Last week I asked readers to share their craziest sex adventures and mishaps with me. The answers I got were juicy and I'm excited to share them with you.
Tiffany writes: "Well, I've had sex just about anywhere and everywhere. The bed, bathroom(s), stairs, pool table, exercise equipment, on a four wheeler, in a tent, swimming pool, hot tub; but the most fun place I've had sex is in a car. It was during the drive home of Red, White and Boom. We were extremely horny and the traffic was going slower than a turtle. He was driving on the freeway, so we decided, 'What the heck?' It was the most fun I've had during sex, especially when we looked over to the car next to us and found out the old people were enjoying the show just as much as we were making it."
Susie writes: "My most creative places to fornicate have been underneath palm trees on a beach on an island two hours off the coast of Brazil (I have scars to prove it) and the backseat of a car outside of a mini-kart racing arena."
Alyssa writes: "I had sex in the Hopkins Hall bathroom."
I hope these e-mails have inspired you and your partner. Mix up the relationship before you're faking it and he's popping little blue pills.
I want to hear your story. This week's question: Have you ever been caught, or caught someone else, masturbating?
Please send answers to me at PenelopeLantern@gmail.com.