Ethical issues have run rampant throughout Ohio State in the past months: Board of Trustees member Brian Hicks was convicted of violating state ethics laws and Roger D. Blackwell, whose name covers the Blackwell Hotel, was convicted of insider trading. Now, it seems this behavior has finally rubbed off on the students.
The latest gossip on the celebrity rumor mill is that former 98 Degrees member Mr. Jessica Simpson, otherwise known as Nick Lachey, was caught swapping spit with local Ohio State communication student Danielle Calo.
According to reports by The Other Paper and Star magazine, Calo is quoted as saying she shared intimate kisses with the former jailbait aficionado turned Ricky Ricardo protégé at an Embasy Suites hotel.
However, whether Lachey and Calo did the deed seems to be up in the air. According to The Other Paper, Calo said in an interview Friday on WNCI-FM's Morning Zoo that the Star misquoted her.
I hope it did.
I can't comment on Calo's character or whether the two kissed, but if she did, she did so with a blasphemer.
Lachey, who grew up in Cincinnati, was in town for the Ohio State vs. Texas football game on Sept. 10. While here he sang "The Victors," the University of Michigan's fight song, in the Horseshoe for ESPN's College GameDay.
Insert jaw dropping gasp.
Good job Calo. If playing tonsil hockey with a married man wasn't enough, you had to do it with someone who besmirched your school. May Woody Hayes have mercy on your love life.
Though I've never been placed in a situation where a reasonably famous and wealthy person was willing to show me a good time, I'm reasonably sure I'd second guess whether I could live up to the standards of that person's spouse, which in this case would be quite difficult.
From what I know of Calo - which is admittedly not much more than her Facebook profile and information gathered from newspapers and magazines - she is an attractive, raven-haired 19-year-old with the ironic quote "I can't open my mouth right now" listed as one of her favorites on her Facebook profile.
Simpson on the other hand is a 25-year-old pop star/actress with the body and voice to back her career.
As for the ladies' IQs, as long as Calo knows there is no chicken in tuna salad, I'm pretty sure she'd be a shoo-in.
With this said I have to ask Lachey and Calo one question: What were you doing?
Lachey, seriously - have you seen your wife? Have you seen your career? Do you have nightmares about what will happen when you finally get a divorce? It will be bad.
As for Calo, according to the Star, Lachey didn't even ask you for your number - his bodyguard had to. His bodyguard, Calo! That is the person who guards his body, not yours. From my limited understanding of how to pick up dates, you usually don't send your friend over to someone else to tell them they are attractive. It seems a bit like junior high.
Now how to fix the situation.
Jessica, I implore you, if you are jealous, I will let you fly me to your home and I will make out with you for as long as it takes for you to forget Lachey. Your husband might like younger women, seeing as how you're six years younger than he is, but I like older women, and I have no problem being a trophy husband.
David J. Cross is a senior in journalism. He can be reached for comment at cross.113@osu.edu.
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