Herbie's right: OSU basketball fans suck

I frickin' love Kirk Herbstreit.

Not in the "Throw your panties on the GameDay set" way most female viewers do, but rather in the "This guy has some monstrous balls" way. Herbie could pass his stones off as cantaloupes in the Kroger produce section, for chrissakes. We're talking brontosaurus-sized nuts here, folks.

"The university and the athletic department should have a certain criteria that you should have to meet before you could actually qualify as being an Ohio State fan," Herbstreit said on his local radio show last March 15.

The rather pedestrian former Buckeye quarterback was raging about the lack of OSU fans that made the relatively brief trip to Lexington, Ky., two weeks ago to support the basketball Buckeyes for the first two rounds of the NCAA Tournament.

Of course, OSU basketball fans are easy targets. They arrive late, leave early, and often fail to fill the Schottenstein Center for even the most anticipated matchups. Much like the crusty alumni who fill Ohio Stadium on fall Saturdays with their lardy posteriors planted firmly in their seats, Buckeye basketball fans can be found more often than not knitting, yawning or chatting with each other during crucial moments of most games. Thank god for the basketball student section. Or maybe not.

"The Ohio State students, when it comes to basketball, are completely inept and an embarrassment to the institution. They're dreadful. They're the worst student section in the history of college basketball," Herbie scolded.

In San Antonio last weekend, my basketball beat writer attempted to find students to interview in the Alamodome before the Tennessee game for a story about traveling fans. Shouldn't really be a problem, one might think. Spring break, southern Texas, beautiful women. Not a student to be found among the few hundred OSU fans that bothered to show. Texas A&M was represented by thousands of students and more than 20,000 fans.

Sure, the A&M campus at College Station is only a few hour trek to San Antonio. Sure, Aggie fans are only three years removed from an 0-16 Big XII season. But my god, folks, Herbie's right. You're pathetic. Jim Tressel could bring in more asses for a speech on the moon about Jesus. What more could you ask for than the No. 1 college basketball team in the nation, two future NBA lottery picks and the Sweet 16?

It's not just San Antonio, kiddies. I understand money constraints; my diet is usually dependent on whatever loose change I can wrangle from under my couch cushions. But even here in the friendly confines of the Schott, opposing teams are treated better than Oprah at a Hometown Buffet. Lame chants, nonexistent noise and general apathy rule the bleachers behind the backboards.

"(The students) should go down to Texas A&M and talk to students there about what it's like to support a team," Herbstreit said.

Amen, Herbie. Amen. I've never seen anything like what I saw in San Antonio. Keep this s---- up, and Thad Matta's on his way to Kentucky faster than you can say "OSU fans blow."

Scott Woods is a senior in journalism and sports editor at The Lantern. He can be reached for comment at woods.250@osu.edu.

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