Forget the parking, give me two-ply

Finally, the end of listening to a giant humming gorilla. The end of tripping over boxes of fortune cookies. The end of people in campaign T-shirts mugging me to give me a flier telling me to vote for lofty goals and giving me free ice cream. What is all of this for? A good answer would be so two people can get football tickets and free tuition, not to mention it looks good on their resumes. What else, you ask? The voting students are supposed to get a parking lot, a blue phone, or maybe the opportunity to listen to the Underground outside of the South Oval. These are all very important great lofty goals, but I just want two things. Since they are promising the world, maybe they could add two-ply, non-sandpaper grade, toilet paper to all of Ohio state’s bathrooms and clean up the vomit in the shower of my dorm hall. Thanks.
Bruin Ramsdell, sophomore civil engineering

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