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A call to action for southpaws to unite

I am so glad to grow up past the time in America where kids were forced to use their right hand even if they demonstrated that they were left-hand dominant.

This type of discrimination is rarely discussed. I talked to my mother, Mama Pat, about her childhood and seeing her friends forced to be right-handed.

I am her only left-handed child. Little did Mama Pat know that her baby would enter another kind of marginalization: left-handers making up 10 percent of the world population.

This right here is my left-handers’ manifesto. I am telling you all that Aug. 13 is my new favorite day of the year because it is National Left-Hander’s Day. There are some reasons why we deserve this precious day. There are some hellish things associated with being left-handed. Left-handed people are more prone to have allergies, insomnia, migraines and a whole host of other things than people who are right-handers, according to different studies.

But, my people, we are on the upswing. Left-handers are more likely to be scientists and in the last several decades, we are most likely to be president of the United States.

What is interesting is that our hand domination signifies some other things as well. It reveals how we southpaws use our brains. Researchers at Australian National University discovered that left-handed people can think more quickly when carrying out tasks such as playing sports, as connections between the left and right brain hemispheres are faster in left-handed people, who tend to use the whole brain.

A study performed at St. Lawrence University in New York by Alan Searleman found that “true” left-handed people — those who favor their whole left side for physical activities — have twice the problem-solving skills and a higher I.Q. than right-handed people. We are wired to be better at multi-tasking.

In some countries, it is impolite to touch food or people with your left hand. I say lefties, liberate yourselves. You know you wash your hands. It is time. When you handle Chipotle, take it with the left. Beast your Canes, Taco Bell and Panera soup with your hand of choice.

I say now, we lefties must gain our reparations. We are tired of experiencing anti-lefty bias in the form of desks that are awkward, potato peelers that are useless, power tools, scissors, pens that smear on paper when we write and computer mice causing hand cramps.

There are several famous actors, inventors, scientists and politicians who are lefties. This large list includes: Julia Roberts, Michelangelo, President Barack Obama, Paul Simon, Bill Clinton, Laura Chinchilla (president of Costa Rica), Jimi Hendrix, Benjamin Franklin, Julius Caesar and Singapore’s Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong to name a few.

Just like Optimus Prime sent out words to his fellow Autobots in hiding on earth, I too say, ‘Come on southpaws, it is our time.’ Lefty allies are also welcome.

 

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