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What’s next for Ohio’s Dennis Kucinich?

Courtesy of MCT

When I heard that Dennis Kucinich might leave Ohio, my first reaction was to call off work and help him pack. I should have known, however, that the news would not be as good as I had initially thought. His possible departure from Ohio does not automatically equate to a departure from the federal government. Nor is his decision to leave solely based on choice. It is more out of necessity.

Because of decreased population numbers in the 2010 census, Ohio will forfeit two congressional seats. Because Republicans hold the all-powerful redistricting pen, liberal Democrat Kucinich is likely first to be placed on the chopping block.

But he is not content to simply give up his lifelong career in politics, and I don’t blame him. It’s probably all he knows. He is considering running for office elsewhere. After carefully analyzing the various states, districts and planets that would give him the best chance to win, it appears Washington state is the frontrunner.

Washington was one of eight states to gain a congressional seat, including Texas with four and Florida with two. If I weren’t such a compassionate guy, I might enjoy seeing Kucinich run in Texas, though I’m sure the citizens of the state would be less than thrilled. It is unclear what exactly made him choose Washington, but it makes sense that he would go as far left as possible.

Unlike Texas and Florida, Washington gained only one seat. Apparently, if a state loses its only NBA franchise, it gets to add a congressional seat within five years and gets a politician to be named later. It appears Washington’s lucky day has finally arrived.

While Kucinich is desperately trying to preserve the butt print in his congressional seat, he probably realizes that his chances are pretty slim. Imagine if this situation were happening in Ohio. A seat opens and somebody from the other side of the country comes in to apply for it. Granted, Kucinich knows Washington D.C. But Washington state? How much does he really know about the Pacific Northwest?

Should this move actually come to fruition, the people in the district might learn more about Kucinich than they ever hoped to know. His political opinions aside, he has a track record of being downright strange.

For example, during a 2007 presidential debate, he claimed to have once seen a UFO. What is most disturbing about that claim is he was actually referring to the interior.

Most recently, he filed a lawsuit for $150,000 in damages against a Capitol Hill cafeteria after splitting his tooth on an olive pit in a sandwich wrap. The lawsuit was settled for an undisclosed amount. So for all of you who like olives in your sandwiches, I suggest you chew carefully.

It is highly unlikely that Kucinich will win should he decide to run in Washington. That means there is a strong possibility he will end up back in Ohio, working in some capacity for far left causes.

Though I shiver at such a thought, it might be best for Kucinich. I’ve heard Ohio olives are much safer.

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