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Author Demetria Lucas dishes dos, don’ts of dating at Ohio State

Jazmyn Blockson / Lantern photographer

Forget the old childhood rhyme, “first comes love, then comes marriage.” For Demetria Lucas, it’s first comes happiness by living the best life possible then comes everything else, if you’re ready for it.

Lucas, author of the dating-advice book “A Belle in Brooklyn,” spoke to almost 75 people at the Ohio Union Monday. The Ohio Union Activities Board and Society of Sisters sponsored the event.

Lucas, a full-time author and life coach since giving up her position as relationship editor at “Essence Magazine,” gave her dos and don’ts for relationships.

Do communicate

Lucas repeatedly made communication a point in her advice on how to deal with one’s partner, how to deal with family and friends or even how to be a better boyfriend.

One of the few males in the audience received applause when he asked Lucas how he could be a better boyfriend. Her advice to him was similar to everyone else’s: communicate and don’t have an ego.

Portia Williams, a third-year in computer and information science, said she took a lot from the communication emphasis.

“(Communication is) lacking in relationships,” Williams said.

Don’t conform

“Don’t force yourself into something you don’t believe in,” Lucas said.

This response addressed a number of questions audience members asked Lucas, whether it was about having kids or just having sex before marriage.

Other questions Lucas received in her open forum ranged from her stance on partners living together, which Lucas advised not to do until a couple is at least engaged, to how to have a career similar to her own.

Do live life to the fullest

“Having adventures … and learning something (from them),” Lucas said is her best definition of having the best single life possible.

Darvonna Hayes, a second-year in logistics management, said she enjoyed the advice Lucas gave. Hayes felt it was perfectly geared toward college students.

Hayes said she loved Lucas’ advice about living for oneself and took a lot away from the event.

“Enjoy life, do not worry about relationships — we are living for ourselves, and have fun in life,” Hayes said.

Don’t give cheaters, liars, abusers more chances than they deserve

“No second chances,” Lucas said. “It’s a character issue.”

This was related to audience members and pop culture. Lucas referenced pop artists Rihanna and Chris Brown and their tumultuous past as displayed in the media.

“Rihanna is making the worst decision of her life, not only professionally,” if she gets back together with Brown, Lucas said. “It sends a horrible message.”

Betty Cowans, a third-year in human development and family sciences and vice president of internal affairs of the SOS, said she felt it was a blessing to have Lucas visit Ohio State.

Cowans said her favorite advice was “living your best single life, focusing on myself as a woman and individual … experiencing and learning.”

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