If you are anything like me, you may have only vague ideas of how to “be sexy.” Trying to be more appealing or charming to the desired sex only becomes more elusive the more one thinks about it.

So here is my advice: do not think about it, and do not try.

I know that we’re all tired of hearing “Just be yourself” and “Confidence is sexy,” but there are some nuggets of wisdom in these old adages.

If you’re trying to catch someone’s eye, the best way to “be yourself” is to just do what makes you comfortable. Wear an outfit you feel good in, and if that outfit shows some skin, then rock it. If you’re more comfortable with a more modest ensemble, then rock it. Whether or not your favorite outfit is loud and colorful or tame and neutral does not matter as long as you like it.

I firmly believe that feeling comfortable and good in what you wear is the first step to feeling good in your own skin.

So, once you feel fly in your outfit, it will be much easier to act and feel confident.

When you break it down, “being sexy” is just having genuine comfort and ease in your body and personality.

Trust me, I fight my battles with my appearance like everyone else, but a very good and very smart friend of mine once told me, “Fake it until it isn’t fake anymore.” Tell yourself that you’re hot, believe people when they compliment you, and over time, you’ll have all the confidence in the world!

Being sexy should be effortless. That’s why there are so many steps focused on you before you even talk to that special someone. And chances are, if someone is into you they will already think you are cute and sexy. So get out there and don’t worry so much.