Slut-shaming is a big problem nowadays, and by now it really shouldn’t be.

One thing about being brought up in a problematic world is that we often have to stop and think, “Why do I think the way I do about certain things?” Sure, it can be tedious, but stop and think we must – especially when it comes to sex and gender.

America as a society seems to be confused about sex. It is constantly described and portrayed as somehow both the best and the worst thing that one can willingly take part in, due to many historical and social  factors that I unfortunately do not have time to delve into at the moment. But as adults, we need to think about these concepts not as one extreme over another, but with complexity and depth. In the grand scheme of things, sex is not the best or the worst thing that someone can do.

So can we please stop placing peoples’ value and worth on how many people they have or haven’t had sex with?

Why are men expected and even pressured to sleep with everyone, and yet we demand that women sleep with no one? That makes no sense! How did that happen? As a community, we have systematically set everyone up for failure.

The good news is that I have an incredibly simple and effective solution. Maybe sex isn’t as big of a deal as it’s made to seem. Sex is not some kind of initiation or rite of passage into adulthood or into one’s “full potential”. It is not a test or a tool to manipulate and oppress people. In fact, humankind’s potential should not be measured by something that snails do.

However, I will tell you what sex is. It is a fun, consensual activity that helps relieve tension and stress, can help bring people closer, and can (sometimes) bring life into the world.

What I’m saying is, it’s 2015. We are better than slut-shaming.