Since I have been elected Shane’s speech writer, year 2012, and since I have such a dedicated following, I thought I’d depart from this fine university with a speech.Now imagine this, if you will, graduation day December 13. I, in my gown, and President Gee at the podium. St. John’s Arena is plagued with uncommon silence. Gee calls me, Anna Glenn, to give a graduation speech. His reason? No reason; he just wanted someone who was not only classy, brassy, brazen and cool to talk but someone who also had an opinion on the travesties of life. Here it is now, in revised (yet rough) form, what I would say, to my graduating class of 1996. Listen well and your name might be called; fall asleep and rest in peace.(Applause): Hello Ohio State University. Are we ready to rumble? President Gee, thank you. Please, Miss Tiff, no more heckling until I finish. What a day this is, made glorious on the eve of graduation. We are past the quarter of our discontent and we must face the reality; we must drink and see the spider. We are not children anymore, although some will choose to remain so.Obstacles we face will scar and effect us, yet we will learn. The decisions we make will decide our chosen paths; the decisions are right because we believe in them. Always remember, do not regret and do not forget. Whatever we do we must fight for the truth. Expect no less. Richard Wright believed in this philosophy. He said, ‘Yes, these people were children, sleeping in their living awake in their dying.’ Before I go, I’d like to take a little time out to thank some people. I know this is a speech, but then again, I ask, is it really? Besides the obvious (God, mom, dad, Rita Tam, Mona Lu, J. Crew) I’d like to give thanks where thanks is due.Damon. Diondra. Mel. WillBill. Colleen. Good luck. To my Wednesday lunch crew: Nadine, Greg, Rob, Dana, Colleen, Jerry; my sanity thanks you. Tully, Snow, Hannah; oh what a night. Thanks for the laughs.Gratel, Feonia, Rog, Garvo. The club will go on, it must. My deepest thanks goes to the Office of Minority Affairs. Without their help and support, I wouldn’t attend OSU. And perhaps that makes a few happy to hear. But, don’t worry, I won’t be gone for long. I am actually thinking of returning for graduate school. I don’t know the focus yet, but because of a few encouraging people (and I thank them here again) I actually have the courage to apply to the graduate school in Physics. Think of all the fun we will have. Oh yeah, physics is fun.And finally: Marty, Jim, the writers, my copy editor. Without you guys, there would be no First Down. It’s been an experience. Those I’ve forgotten. You know who you are. So many yet so few. A thousand thanks. I leave you with this thought. To make people laugh. That’s all life should be about; laughing and smiling. If you forget to laugh and are unable to see the implied sarcasms about life, then go major in something traditional and where the only thought process is applying and learning other people’s thoughts. Else, live. That’s it.

Applause. Applause. The crowd can not contain themselves. Chants of Anna fill the arena.

Anna Glenn, a graduating senior from Gahanna, is an illusion of reality. She wants Gee to know he can use any part of her speech worked into his speech, no questions asked.