In the first part of French author Marcel Proust’s eight-part novel “Remembrance of Things Past,” the main character encounters a familiar taste from his childhood and cannot stop remembering.
Well, Taco Ninja, located inside Café Bourbon Street at 2216 Summit St., doesn’t have that kind of power — unless of course you have strong memories of Montezuma’s Revenge from drinking the water in Mexico.
I will try and refrain from the one-liners the best I can, but come on, with a name like the Taco Ninja, they are just asking for it. I mean what do Tacos and ninjas have to do with each other in the first place? O.K. I’ll stop.
I’m not sure how fast real ninjas can make a delivery, but I waited about 70 minutes, even though I was told between 45-60. The ninja who showed up at my door looked a little more like he came from a Phish concert rather than Japan. He did assure me the food would “assassinate my hunger,” and he did apologize for being late, but I remained skeptical.
We started off with the Macho Nachos ($4.50) as our appetizer and I must admit, they were surprisingly good. They were loaded with beef, refried beans, cheese, jalapenos, onions, and tomatoes. Co-reviewer Gutter said they were better than ChiChi’s nachos and he would definitely order them again.
Taco Ninja offers a few other classic Mexi-Japanese fusion appetizers such as Falafel ($3.00), Jalapeno Poppers ($3.00), Mozzarella Sticks ($3.95) and Cheese Fries ($2.50).
The entrées were less impressive. I had the Vegetarian Buckeye Burrito ($4.95), which lacked a strong flavor. It was kind of bland and tasted a little like pine nuts, which weren’t even in the burrito. The Kitana (medium) salsa I asked for in the burrito may have helped enhance the taste if it was not forgotten. If for some reason I had to order this item again, I would make sure to order it with meat — they offer chicken or beef.
Gutter had the Chicken Nunchuck Chimichanga ($5.95) which we came to the conclusion was the same thing as the Buckeye Burrito with a different shell, which was bigger and chewier. “The chicken was good, and the cheese was good, but that was all you could taste. It needed the Kamikaze (hot) salsa, which they forgot.”
Co-reviewer Gutterette, a.k.a. Heather, was a little frightened by the Falafel Soft Taco ($3.50), “Is the meat supposed to be crunchy, ’cause this is crunchy.” She also tried the Samurai Burger ($3.50), which didn’t perform much better. “It was really dry,” she said. “I think a school cafeteria hamburger is actually better than this.”
Any time I see a Fish Taco ($3.50) on a menu, I am a little curious. Some places are able to pull it off — the Cheesecake Factory for one — and some aren’t. I would have to say Taco Ninja did not. All this taco had to offer was a tiny bit of tuna with lettuce, tomato, onion and cheese, wrapped in a soft tortilla. With a can of tuna costing under $1, I expected more than a couple of spoonfuls, considering the rest of the entrée wasn’t the reason for the $3.50 price tag. The resulting taste was what you would expect.
Other entrees include the Quesadilla ($3.95 three-cheese and $5.25 chicken), the Ninja Taco ($1.95 hard or soft), a Veggie Burger ($3.50), and the Chicken Breast Sandwich ($4.20). The restaurant also offers a garden salad ($2 small and $4 large) and chicken salad ($3.50 small and $5.50 large) for the less adventurous diner.
Taco Ninja is open from noon to 2 a.m. and accepts credit cards. Orders can be placed by calling 268-4880.
Chances are you will eat there because of the name, but unless Taco Ninja changes its style (or I just happened to get the worst of it), I don’t think you’ll be going back.
Nicholas Gill is a senior in English and journalism and can be reached for question or comment at mailto:[email protected]. He is beginning to think that the $30 bet he made in August that the Blue Jackets would win the Stanley Cup (at 1-175 odds) was a bad idea, but he has his fingers crossed.
