There are certain circumstances that I believed could happen only if a group of comedy writers were locked in a room together and forced to write a sitcom.

About one of these, at least, I was wrong.

Three nights ago my bad karma caught up to me as I sat at a local bar with a few of my friends. This karma happened to take the form of three women, all attractive, all incredibly intelligent and each very much an ex-girlfriend.

Separately each of these women represented about a year in my dating existence; together, however, they represented my entire dating career as an Ohio State student. They also represented a collective of horror stories of the things I did while I dated them, such as the time I took one of the women home, but forgot to introduce her to my mother.

With this swarm of queen bees able to strike at anytime, I asked myself the question: Should people remain friends with people they’ve dated?

After a break up, there are a couple of things that can happen. You can end up hating each other. Maybe he cheated on you. Maybe she wanted to move … in with your brother. I’m not here to argue semantics. The fact is you end up hating each other.

The other thing that happens is what I call limbo. Limbo is the equivalent of being together except not being together. Instead of calling him your boyfriend he becomes your not-boyfriend. The same goes for girlfriends.

For example: If the two of you are at a bar and a cute girl is flirting with you and asks, “Who are you here with?” You’d say, “I’m here with Charity, but she’s not my girlfriend.”

People date for many reasons, but there is always a connection, be it mental or physical. A girlfriend is different than a random hook-up. Hook-ups can be fun, but they don’t compare to kissing a person you are dating. That is why being friends with someone that you have dated is nearly impossible.

Even if you aren’t together, being friends opens up the possibility that you will rehash old arguments. Or, even stranger, there will be times when the two of you are perfectly synchronized as if you were dating again. Other times it will be like the moon crashed into the Earth and landed directly on your heart. Being friends with someone you loved or someone you dated is difficult because no matter how much time passes you still have an emotional connection to that person. When you see an ex flirting with another guy and think about how it’s not you, feelings get hurt and sometimes fists get thrown.

What I have come to realize is that when an ex asks why you can’t be happy for them when they’ve found a new person to do is that obviously he or she isn’t paying attention. Of course I’m not going to be happy with it. Humans are jealous people. All of us. If someone tells you that they are happy for you they are only saying it because they know that is what you want to hear. It’s a defense mechanism, a way of telling yourself, if I say I’m happy for you then maybe I will get over you and I really will be able to be friends with you. Yeah, and if you tell yourself you are going to be a pro athlete you won’t have to spend hours each day practicing.

I find it funny, yet brilliant, that people associate love with Cupid. He is a winged child that shoots people with arrows. I know that if I was a child with an arrow no one would be safe. Dogs would love cats and Ohio State fans would be holding hands with Michigan fans. In short, love is childish and children are selfish. Love is selfish. We cannot control who we fall in love with. If we tried we’d wind up ending a relationship before it began.

As I sat at the table with the three women that at one point in time had been my best friends I was filled with one question: Why weren’t they fighting over me? We all know that there was a reason they were my ex-girlfriends, but at the very least I wanted some hair pulling for my attention, or possible a four-some, but it didn’t happen. Instead it was me, with my guard up, realizing that they cared, just not enough to fight for territory they had already claimed and then annexed.

David J. Cross is a senior in journalism. He can be reached at [email protected].