When I think of all the things that I came to school to accomplish, things like arguing about gay speakers and writing hate mail to rival student governments were not top on my list.But fortunately for the Ohio State population, there are people on this planet that want to do things like this … and low and behold, they are all in the Undergraduate Student Government.Over the past couple of weeks, USG has made a ‘name’ for itself by drawing the attention of Ohio State’s real president (how sad is it when Gee has to comment on your actions?), and managed to blow the issue of paying guest speakers way out of proportion.Am I surprised? No, not really.I just find it hard to imagine that they don’t have better things to talk about, like how to keep a fledgling radio station afloat (which, given the benefit of the doubt, is a good radio station), or how we can attract bigger and better guest speakers.I understand that Harvey Fierstein and P. J. O’Rourke are pre-eminent thinkers of our time that represent Generation X, but maybe we could get someone with a little more insight than what to do to have intercourse with persons of the same sex or what puns a political comedian can pull out of Washington.Maybe, just maybe, USG could discuss issues that the representatives were elected to talk about.When was the last time issues concerning the North Campus Dorms or commons were brought to the table? Who has recently discussed issues concerning what can be done to help engineering students? And, if they do discuss these issues, what is being done once they are discussed.’We’re much, much too busy,’ they reply.’We are in the midst of drafting a piece of hate legislation to fax off to Bowling Green, they’re our first football game next year, you know.’Or how about we elect a president that is more concerned with issues on campus and not being controlled by local businesses.According to one member of the USG assembly, the referendum doesn’t even exist for us students to vote on.Could we possibly focus on issues that affect the OSU community and not the surrounding business community, especially if USG isn’t going to bother to write down something for us to vote on? I realize that USG does some good for this campus. Aside being a self-help group for striving-to-be-county-commisioners-of-his/her-hometown, they do provide a certain function for the university (so put down your laptops USG people, I do realize that you serve a purpose).But maybe it is our fault. Only 3,000 or so students actually made the effort to vote last year. I wonder how many students on campus know who represents him or her. USG might be thinking that if students didn’t care in the spring, why should they care now?Well, even if no one voted, members of the USG represent Ohio State and were elected (and in some cases paid) to represent the students here at OSU. But, alas, I have the solution.If USG wanted to introduce the most historic and meaningful piece of legislation in its tenure, they could introduce a bill that would begin the immediate shutdown of the student government.It would be nothing like those wimpy federal shutdowns that only last a few weeks. This would be a full-fledged shut down that would stop the student government for good.Now there would be no more crying, whining, and foot-stomping concerning why College Republicans are doing this, or what new bill the Subterranean Hospital Tunnel Representative introduced for passage into law.Now we come to a point of a paradox. Kind of a damned-if-you-do,-damned-if-you-don’t situation. A shut down of USG would never work and nothing would get done, but would that be any different from the status quo?
Douglas Huber is a senior from Loveland, Ohio, majoring in journalism. He someday hopes to become the majority leader of the United States Senate.
