It was standing-room only when more than 200 of Ohio State’s voyeurs were treated to live canoodling demonstrations.
The Ohio Union Activities Board played host to the lecture “The Art of Kissing,” Wednesday with guest speaker Michael Christian turning the audience on (no pun intended) to his favorite pastime – kissing.
Christian, an English professor at Boston College, is an old pro on the subject of making out, having written books on the topic. Through lecturing, he has found a way to make kissing marketable – legally – as long as it is with the right crowd.
“I’ve had no success with this program in front of corporations or church groups,” Christian said.
Christian uses his lecture to provide tips on kissing techniques and advice on anything that enters the realm of kissing.
“I’ve always been interested in kissing,” he said. “I wrote ‘The Art of Kissing’ to try to improve my sex life – it didn’t work.”
With help from seven volunteer couples, including one gay couple, Christian showed the audience 30 romantic kisses on stage.
Christian gave the couples directions and scenarios to demonstrate, including dentist and patient, professor and student and barber and customer, as a means to try different types of kissing.
He spilled with advice when couples are physically close.
“When you are this close don’t worry if you’re not beautiful,” he said. “You’re out of focus.”
From butterfly kisses, Eskimo kisses and phone kisses, Christian shared his wisdom and experiences with the rowdy crowd.
“Kissing on the phone is kind of like phone sex,” Christian said. “But keep the bills down, call somebody you know.”
Christian, full of energy and humor, excited the crowd with his unusual teaching techniques. He had each of the volunteer couples practice the skill of hickey-giving on each other, as well as personally teaching the audience the talent of practicing French kissing on one’s own hand (make a mouth out of one hand, and stick the thumb on the other hand through the mouth for a tongue).
“It feels so good you can get turned on by it,” Christian said.
One of the final demonstrations had two of the male volunteers kneeling and slipping two red pillowcases over their heads, in order to become replicas of two large tongues. Christian used this opportunity to show the audience methods of moving the tongue during a French kiss.
The history of the oral activities and the tongue-in-cheek comedy of Christian ensured a great time for attendees – especially the volunteers, who were provided with a brief rehearsal session prior to their performance.
“I thought it sounded like fun,” said Corey Davis, a junior in construction systems management.
Davis signed himself and his girlfriend, Alicia Ankrom, a freshman in biology pre-med, without her knowing.
“She had no idea,” Davis said. “I told her not to make plans for tonight. She was sort of shocked.”
Ankrom was a good sport about participating in the on-stage make-out sessions.
“It was fun,” she said.
The OUAB sponsored event had a very high turnout and success rate, said Alicia Corabi, OUAB lectures chair.
“I really didn’t think so many people would be eager to answer the questions,” Corabi said. “Maybe some males in attendance will learn what girls want.”
