Remember back in the first grade when you found your first oh-so-significant other? You’d giggle a little, blush when your eyes met, and maybe even pencil fight if things got really serious in the days of cooties and being chased in the playground.Back then you might have a boyfriend or girlfriend, meaning that you never talked to each other or sat together at lunch, but EVERYONE knew that you were a cute little couple. They’d sing, “Susie and Johnny, sittin’ in a tree….’ This inevitably led to your face turning ten shades of red and then you’d decide you no longer liked your little friend.In junior high people started couplehood without even going on a date to see if they liked each another. Chances are, you were asked out first, and then your parents might drop you off at a movie or something. These were the days of two week romances, and if you were together for more than a month, you were destined for marriage.By the time high school came around, things began to solidify, a little, into specific categories, and the terms which defined all the stages of dating had become important. People might ask how serious things were, or if you were just dating, etc. So now in college, these problematic words are still plaguing me, and I’m sure they’ve caused problems for other people out there, too. So I’ve decided to make a little attempt to define a few aspects of relationships as I’ve come to understand them.Dating: Two people hanging out together who know the outing is not merely a ‘friends thing.’ One can date any number of people at a time. Dating comes about after several dates, which is to say that you aren’t technically ‘dating’ after only one date or even two. No commitment or assurance that you will actually hear from one another again after the date is guaranteed. Dating dating: Okay, this is where it gets tricky. The repetition of the word here is where the seriousness comes in. This is the same use as the familiar ‘shopping shopping,’ which, as everyone knows, is much more costly than mere ‘shopping.’ There is also intonation involved when saying these words together (See going out).Going out: This is where two people are seeing each other exclusively. Dating other people under these terms is forbidden or, at any rate, not looked upon favorably by others (most notably by your significant other). ‘Going out’ was also referred to as ‘going steady’ by our parents, which was actually less ambiguous than our current wording, but hey, times were simpler.The DTR talk: This stands for ‘define the relationship,’ which strikes fear into the hearts of many. This is where one might say, ‘So, um, where do you think we’re going with this (gulp)?’ The DTR talk is something that is inevitable in any dating situation that lasts for an extended period of time. However, once the DTR is completed, there is a resulting period of relief for at least one, and hopefully both of the people involved.At any rate, I find the jargon and its use highly confusing. The dating game is difficult enough as it is without people getting confused about how to refer to their relationships. It’s inevitable that people are going to get their wires crossed during the process. Honestly, I think it’s impossible not to.
Amanda Appleton hails from Cincinnati and is majoring in English and journalism. And no, she hasn’t read one too many issues of Glamour.
