Mr. Jimmy John took Arabica away from us last year. Central campus’s last, best hope for a relaxing cup of coffee folded and moved on, leaving central campus coffee-lovers with nowhere to turn.
Philosophy professor Robert Kraut wrote to me, “Quality of life is an issue for students, faculty, and staff; the presence of good quality coffee venues is a major factor. I used to meet students at Arabica for coffee to talk about stuff. Where do we go now? McDonald’s? I don’t think so. It’s not just about food and drink, or alternatives to quick sandwiches. It’s about loud commercial music or advertising blaring over the PA, making conversation difficult. It’s about ambience, and what it’s like to be a civilized person trying to feel good about the OSU campus area. Sometimes it isn’t easy.”
I agree. It’s easy to see that campus businesses have saturated the market in some areas, such as pizza, sandwiches, and sweet sweet booze. It’s equally easy to see some campus needs going unfulfilled, such as our apparent need for trendy, upscale, youth-oriented fashion boutiques. It’s a good thing Campus Partners is here to save us. With any luck, Java Master, located within the main library, will pick up the slack left by Arabica and, at the very least, help keep our professors adequately caffeinated.
Needless to say, I was at first resentful of Jimmy John’s rapid takeover of campus real estate. Now, after visiting their 2165 N. High location, I am prepared to welcome Mr. John into our community. Why? He sells better sandwiches, that’s why.
They simply taste less processed than their competition. I ordered The Pepe, a ham and provolone sub with lettuce, tomato, and mayo. First of all, the sub was ready before I could put my change back in my pocket. Second, my sub tasted very, very fresh with the just the right ingredients in just the right proportions. That, my dear reader, is hard to come by. Finally, an eight-inch sub provided the perfect third way for masticators with too much appetite for a six-inch sub and too much dignity for foot-long beast. The subs are cheap too, important to all of us sitting down to a choice of chicken or beef-flavored ramen noodles at dinnertime. Lazy masticators would do well to check their various coupon magazines for local delivery numbers.
Recently-single Co-Masticator Gavin, tried the turkey sub and comments, “This is really good. The alfalfa sprouts are a nice touch, the rest of the toppings taste great, and the use of mayo is simply superb.” One thing Gavin and I agree about was Mr. John’s buns. They are very fine.
Brian, in a valiant effort to get the most cholesterol for his dollar, ordered the Hunter’s Club and had this to say for himself, “The name brought images of whole animals on a piece of bread I was disappointed to find only a quarter pound of beef. Overall, I’d say the sandwich is better than one
from Subway or Kelly’s Deli for the same reasons mentioned above. The double quarter pounder doesn’t front like this and it has twice as much meat.” I have to sympathize; any sandwich claiming to have a masculine amount of meat had better bring at least a half pound to the party. This quarter-pound of pretense doesn’t cut it. I guess that heart attack will just have to wait a week, Brian.
Jarrod, my favorite malcontent, was not impressed by Jimmy John’s original Italian sub, loaded with salami, provolone, capicola, onion, lettuce, tomato, and vinegrette dressing. “It was served very quickly,” he writes, “but my praise ends there. Sure, I had my sub in my hand before I figured out exactly what I ordered. I still prefer the buns back at Subway. The meager salami left me wondering, `Where’s the beef?'”
The dine-in atmosphere was clean, yet corporate, despite Jimmy John’s Applebee-like attempts at kitsch. Hanging fake memorabilia on the walls is simply played out. Of the many decorations, two signs stood out; the first one read, “Hippies use side door” and pointed to the restroom, presumably to clean their dirty, hippy hands. The second adequately summed up my appraisal of the restaurant. “Damn good, damn fast, reasonably healthy.”
Hank Mylander forgot to wash his dirty, hippy hands and will just have to shoulder the shame himself. Like most of you, he sure can’t wait to see which set USG candidates runs our over-funded, ineffectual, somewhat-legal student government next! Fan mail and hate mail alike may be sent to [email protected].
