Hello Harlan,
I am a 27-year-old male, and I am still a virgin. I have been waiting for a girl who shares my same beliefs (referring to abstinence until marriage), and it seems that every female I see or meet doesn’t share this. I feel like the older I get, the less of a chance I will have to find that special woman who wants to share her life and herself with only me. Am I being naive and unrealistic, or am I just looking in all the wrong places?
Holding Out Hope
Hello Holding Out,
In a perfect world, people would be required to use virgin as part of their legal name until it was lost. Then it would be so much easier to know, “Hi, I’m Virgin Sally…..”
You’re not being naive or unrealistic. Just make yourself available and keep looking. Try faith-based organizations for singles. Consider advertising via an online dating service (again, consider faith-based services) or a print ad (in faith-based publications). Include the “virgin waiting until marriage” part. Just keep trying. They are out there.
Dear Harlan,
I got dumped by a guy who liked me too much. He said that he wanted to be with me and that he enjoyed my company, but eventually he would hurt me (emotionally). He thought he should do it now instead of waiting until we cross that bridge.
Why do guys need to go through everything alone? Why can’t they just admit that they need someone, just like us women, to hold them when they are depressed?
Frustrated Beyond
Dear Frustrated,
At first, I found your letter a little depressing. Subsequently, I needed to be held. And I can admit that to you, which shatters your blanket generalization.
I know that you’re hurting, but don’t let this guy represent all men. Every week, I get heartfelt letters from men who are emotionally vulnerable, are seeking meaningful relationships and are eager to take risks. They, like so many women, just want someone to share their lives with.
Walk across that bridge without this guy. On the other side is a place where men emote and like to be held (and Dr. Phil is the mayor).
Dear Harlan,
My boyfriend just broke up with me. But he said that he still wants to be friends while he decides whether he wants to get back together with me. I have no idea what to do.
A Friend or a Girlfriend?
Dear Friend,
If you can look at your ex without wanting to date him, be his friend. If you look at him and all you see is your ex, stay far away. Most importantly, do NOT stand around waiting for him to make up his mind. Keep your life moving forward. If he’s not with you, then he could very well lose you.
Dear Readers,
I’m looking for the BEST places to meet someone this summer. From part-time jobs, to volunteer work, to summer study programs, please send stories of how you met your best summer fling. Send to: [email protected]. Thanks!
Write Harlan via e-mail at [email protected] or online at www.helpmeharlan.com. All letters submitted become property of the column. Copyright Help Me, Harlan!
