I was in Washington, D.C., last Thursday. I just happened to be late for the inauguration festivities. I did not get my desired first-hand account of the action at the ceremony or inside the rings of protesters. However, I did see the remnants of protest signs and heard accounts of the festivities from some former colleagues. It turns out that some people just won’t stop beating the dead Ohio election horse. To use progressive rhetoric, that’s just cruelty to animals. So, my dear Democrats and anti-Bush voters, it seems that some clarification is still in order many months after the fact. Let me help you out a bit, so we can make this second term as painless as possible.

Democrats, you lost because of your candidate. The necessary 200,000 votes did not appear out of thin air. Long lines at the voting booth cannot be blamed. After all, I don’t think too many black South Africans were complaining about lines when they passionately stood by their cause and voted for Nelson Mandela. You lost because of Sen. John Kerry.

I’m still haunted by those now infamous words, “I’m John Kerry, and I’m reporting for duty.” I cringe with embarrassment at the thought. He was the perfect representative for a party that offers nothing but an alternative to Republicanism. John Kerry and the Democrats gave us no new answers in 2004. They offered no reasonable alternative to free trade agreements and jobs, national security in the face of terrorism or out-of-control government spending – just nay-saying.

Republicans, please don’t think your side is safe here. Just as the Democrats lost with Kerry, you won with the genius of Karl Rove. The Democrats did a good job to ensure their own demise, but Rove drove the last spikes into the party’s coffin. It is absolutely incredible how many people voted to fight the shadow of terrorism over any kind of hope for a sensible policy toward a transition to a global economy. So now that I’ve said this, Mr. GOP, am I anti-American? Am I anti-moral values? That’s the beauty of Rove.

“The party of moral values” was a perfect smoke screen for the Republicans. I love how a collective memory can so easily forget the moral Gary Condit or Tom “The Holy Hammer” DeLay, who almost had congressional rules changed to allow a future felon such as himself to retain a position in party leadership. Abu Ghraib was very moral, as was the Iran-Contra Affair and our established leader in Panama – who we later arrested, leaving hundreds of dead civilians in our wake.

If we need a better example of the positive “morality” of Republicans, let’s look at the gay marriage issue. Folks, this is politics. This is pandering. Bush and his buddy, Senator Rick Santorum, picked the perfect time to unleash this bill, rousing countless conservatives in the summer months leading to the election. Rove used this bill to call out the Democrats – and fellow Republicans for that matter. Everyone knew it wouldn’t pass. It just became a Republican-controlled election cycle talking point. It’s post-election time, and who’s talking about gay marriage now? If Democrats want an election conspiracy, there it is. However, I like to call it by its real name: mere politics.

It’s time to lead the people’s party out to pasture. Bush has many opponents that the Democratic Party just cannot absorb. Retreating to protectionism in the face of a global economy is not the answer. However, for the Republicans, cutting taxes while increasing spending and infringing on people’s personal lives is no better a response. Many limited government Republicans are understandably upset with the Bush administration for its budget policies and impediments to personal freedoms.

These are issues the Democrats have failed to tackle. Because of this, it may be time to watch for the expansion of the Libertarian Party. They may prove to be a more worthy adversary for the Republicans and Bush, as Democratic influence fades away.

Zach Pickens is a senior in political science and French. He can be reached for comment at [email protected].