Sitting in a cramped, hot, sleep-inducing lecture hall with hundreds of students is hardly the way most students would envision an ideal spring morning. Sitting in a cramped, hot, sleep-inducing lecture hall when Biology 101 is the course is not the way any student envisions an ideal spring morning. But despite what I deem to be the most absurd general education curriculum course I’ve ever taken, the second day of lecture proved to be more entertaining and laughable that I ever could have imagined.

The “hot” topic of lecture: the evolutionary history of life on earth. Yes, this was the eighth time in my educational career that I have been lectured about this topic, but it was a statement by the professor about midway through his lecture that had me literally laugh out loud from the fourth row. The professor said, and I quote, “You’re all college students now, and you’re smart enough to know there’s no such thing as absolute truth.”

After containing my laughter and calculating the rough estimate that it probably cost me a few pennies of my tuition to hear him say it, I found myself aware of the sad reality that this man might actually believe what he was preaching … and I wanted my pennies back.

There’s no absolute truth? Did he not realize that his statement was so logically contradictory that there was a student laughing out loud in the fourth row? First of all, he was declaring that there are absolutely no absolutes. This is an absolute statement. If the statement is true, there is, in fact, an absolute – there are absolutely no absolutes. See the contradiction?

I really wanted to ask him, “So, there isn’t any truth … is that true?” If he answered, “Sure it is,” then I’d say “Then you admit that something is true. So why deny it?” But if he answered, “Of course it’s not true, nothing is,” then I’d say “Well, if it’s not true that there isn’t truth, then it is true that there is truth. So why not just fess up?” Either way he’d be burned.

But it was the underlying theme behind his statement that humored and troubled me at the same time. I feel that his agenda was that because “there is no absolute truth,” there is no meaning or purpose in life. That’s humorous to me because I think it’s ludicrous, but also troubling because I now know at least one person who actually believes it.

But, I kept quiet like all the students peacefully enjoying their slumbers and just felt pity for how badly he had insulted his own intelligence. What’s most baffling about the statement is that he had claimed intellectual superiority for a contradictory statement.

Although I do not look forward to upcoming lectures, I certainly look forward to future opportunities to laugh out loud. So unless it’s a joke, professors, watch what you say.

Evan TerrySophomoreCommunications