Everybody talks about how long-distance relationships are difficult, but what about long-distance friendships?
I am from Chicago and most of my childhood friends go to different colleges. They are either at the University of Illinois or on the East Coast. These are friends I have had since childhood and they know more about my family and me than anyone I have met in college. It makes me wonder, why is it so hard to stay in touch with our childhood friends?
College is a time for growing. Most people change in college; for instance they become more independent. It is difficult when two people are changing in different locations to be on top of the friendship. Differences can either be embraced by friends or not understood at all. I am on the phone with my childhood friends constantly in order to maintain our friendships and in some way grow together. However, by constantly talking to my long-distance friends am I hindering my friendships here?
I hate when a friend from another school calls when I am talking to my friends here, but sometimes I really need to talk to them. I also feel bad ignoring their phone calls because I wouldn’t have ignored them four years ago.
It is also difficult to coordinate schedules with long-distance friends. Much time was spent joking around in high school during class breaks. College class breaks usually do not coincide with friends at different universities, making it almost impossible to talk during the day. Weeknights that used to be spent together are now spent with new friends. The usual routines we had with our high school friends are different, which can really hinder a friendship.
Long-distance friends might also have different winter and spring breaks, and if they have the same break they might not be able to spend time together. Families might go on vacation or a person might want to go on break with their new college friends. Even if two friends are home, they might not be able to spend time together. It is important to spend time with family, and that can interfere with maintaining the friendship.
The hardest part about a having a long-distance friendship is when we make new friends. It is important to expand and make new friends, but sometimes it feels like our childhood friends have a new life.
Growing up we know everything about our best friends; we know their friends and family. Now, there are only stories about their friends. It is like their life is a book that we keep reading and reading. It just does not seem real. It is like our friends have a whole other life that we just do not understand. Trying to understand becomes difficult because we cannot put a face to their names.
I do not think there is any right way to maintain a long-distance friendship. It almost feels like there are more obstacles in keeping the friendship than one would think. It takes hard work and dedication. It is also important that the friendship is strong and the two friends respect each other. Every friendship hits a bump and long distance is a major bump. However, a strong childhood friendship is worth keeping. A friend that is still there for us even when we had braces, mullets and smelled is a friend that is worth keeping.
Good friends are hard to find and, even if they are far away, it is important to keep them. That is why everyone should go by the quote my best friend and I follow: “Side by side or miles apart, a friend like you stays close to my heart.”
Dana Fine is a senior in journalism and wrote this article for her Chi-town friends. Lions and Aces forever. She can be contacted at [email protected].
