Before coming here, High Street was the promised land.As a high school kid visiting Columbus, the eastern edge of campus blew me away. In my hometown, the University of Akron’s aptly named “Zip Strip” pales in comparison. So after going to the Newport for a Ween concert, I was sold on the merits of Cowtown.At times, it still holds that same allure. When friends visit, a variety of cheap, convenient entertainment options are found on High. Without spending more than $10 apiece, we can go to the Pink Flamingo for video games, get burritos as big as our heads to eat and still have a few bucks left over to buy CDs at Used Kids.The food, shopping and entertainment may be better a few minutes south in the Short North, but not nearly as inexpensive. Yet it has the possibility to be so much more. The glut of burger chains and CD stores merely hint at the campus strip’s potential. With the vague plans of Campus Partners finally becoming reality, we are at a turning point in the street’s history. But if the desires of alumni dominate Campus Partners’ plans, High Street may become an overpriced strip mall.The death of Big Fun could be a prelude of things to come. The pop culture emporium was forced out of its lease for a renter with deeper pockets. In its place, make way for a store that actually touts itself as the “subculture retailer supreme.”According to the recent Lantern article, the Philadelphia-based chain Urban Outfitters targets “upscale young adults” with “alternative clothing and housewares.” When a store calls itself subculture and alternative, it’s usually a pretty good indicator it’s merely the mass-marketed, watered-down equivalent.Continuing with the double-talk dictionary, upscale means “wait until your parents visit to enter this store, because a normal student can’t afford anything here.” Don’t fret: While you might not be able to buy anything, the store’s designer is going to “use sheet metal, plywood and other construction materials … to give the store a realistic and affordable feel.” High Street is far from pretty. Many storefronts are downright revolting. But with a little dirt around the edges comes authenticity. At times, Campus Partners seems hell-bent on creating a perfect little Lego world, even at the expense of businesses that have been here for years.Part of that is enforcing stricter codes for building and renovation. If the city of Columbus approves their plan, any business that wants to renovate must adhere to Campus Partners guidelines, and pay to do it.One proposal would require storefronts to be 70 percent glass. More patios and pushing parking away from the front of stores are other ideas intended to make area businesses more visually appealing and pedestrian friendly. These are good ideas, but taking them too far results in robbing High Street of any originality.When students think of Campus Partners, it’s the elimination of the South Campus bars which springs to mind. Since Papa Joe’s burnt down, the bars on South Campus have gotten progressively trashier and crime-ridden.There is no doubt the buildings and businesses left on South Campus will be leveled. It’s not such a bad thing, but they could be replaced by the opposite extreme. High class restaurants and a micro-brewery are being discussed to fill the void. But who’s going to buy $5 beers? The drunks will go somewhere, so don’t be surprised if the campus trouble spot moves a few blocks to the east or north.Students are well represented in Campus Partners. It’s too early to say whether those voices carry any weight. With the naive assumption Campus Partners cares about what an actual student wants, here are a few ideas for High Street:1) No new fast-food restaurants should be allowed, and no more than one per chain could be in a mile area. Wendy’s should consolidate their four Campus-area restaurants into one big, centrally located “Wendy’s Tower.” A giant statue of Dave Thomas made entirely of the gristle extracted from his heart will perch atop it.2) Instead of requiring all that glass in storefronts, have local art students paint murals on blank walls. Graffiti will be welcomed as long as it’s not incomprehensible tags. If you’re going to mark up something that isn’t yours, at least have some style about it. 3) A 24-hour diner should be built. It doesn’t matter if it’s a Perkins, Big Boy, IHOP or whatever – Just build the damn thing. Students would pack a late-night eatery.4) Outdoor speakers should be banned. In addition, whoever is responsible for choosing the music piped out of Campus Expressions should be put in a padded cell and forced to listen to OSU fight songs for eternity.5) At least 75 percent of new businesses should be locally owned and operated. Local color shouldn’t be painted over by conglomerates who force out their independent equivalents. And despite his area presence, don’t put a Les Wexner store on every corner. There are a half dozen malls in the area. High Street doesn’t need to be another one. The main street of the campus area should be about the people who live here now, not alumni who stop in for game days.
Nathan Crabbe is a junior from Akron who was simultaneously fascinated and disgusted by all the kids in clown make-up on High Street last weekend. His talk show can be heard 7 pm on the net at kbux.ohio-state.edu/real.htm.
