Dear Harlan,
I suppose, I should start by saying I think I am in love with this girl. I met her as soon as I moved to college. She was living on the same block as me. Within a week we were friends, although I wasn’t attracted to her at the time. The problem was that when we all started to go out as a big group, we were the only two who would get up and dance together. It just got more and more to the point that we would spend the whole evening together until we got home. The weird thing was there was still absolutely nothing between us. We were just friends.
After weeks of this, our dancing turned into touching and rubbing and hugging and kissing. To someone who didn’t know us, we looked like a couple. This lasted a few months, and she had boyfriends throughout this experience. Yet, we were still acting like a couple. She would make me hold her hand in public, and give me hugs so people could see. She also wore a ring on her engagement finger when we went out.
Don’t get me wrong — she is a nice person, and that’s the problem. If any other girl were acting like this it would be wrong. Before Christmas she started seeing someone, and that’s when I started feeling jealous. I didn’t say anything to her, and we just carried on as normal. He was very strict with her, and told her off for “dancing” with me before. But the other week they split up after an argument due to her sitting on my knee.
The problem is that our close friendship gets in the way of us having a relationship with someone else. To complicate things more, I decided to leave college this semester. I know I’ll see her again, but only for small periods of times at irregular intervals. What am I supposed to do? I could still move back down there — it just feels so natural holding her. I miss her and I’ve only been away two days.
Missing Her
Dear Missing Her,
Yes, I’ve seen this movie on cable. The two friends pretend to be in love, and the slowly fall in love, but they don’t realize they’re in love until they’re far apart. But then, one of them realizes what’s happening and races to find the other. They fall in love. Then the credits roll.
If you want to follow the script, go back to campus, surprise her, confess your feelings, and ask if you can kiss her. And if she’s not interested, stop pretending to be a couple and be friends — without all the touching, grinding, hugging, kissing, hand holding, and the fake engagement ring. Then roll the credits.
Dear Readers,
Just a reminder, please keep sending in your Rejection Awareness Week 2003 stories (visit www.helpmeharlan.com for R.A.W. 2003 info).
Also, I’m looking your long-distance relationship stories, especially from freshman that left for college with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Has it worked? Why hasn’t it worked? Send in the details of how your relationship played out. My prediction — the majority of these are just about done by the start of the New Year.
Need advice? Write Harlan at [email protected] or online at www.helpmeharlan.com. All letters submitted become property of the author. Copyright Harlan Cohen
Columnist Harlan Cohen will be appearing on Tuesday, Feb. 19 at 7:00 p.m. at the Ohio Union.
