International Olympic Committee President Jacques Rogge announced yesterday the addition of three sports to the 2010 Winter Games roster.
Among the triad was little known lake jumping – a sport that Ohio State students and groups like the Polar Bear club have made world-famous.
“This kicks so much ass,” Jimmy Hrandral said. “I’ve always wanted to compete at the Olympic level, but I was convinced that my lack of motivation and love of malted liquors would prevent me from doing so.”
Hrandral, a junior in ceramics, is considered one of OSU’s top lake jumpers and one of the U.S.’s top medal contenders in the men’s all-around competition.
“Last year for the Michigan game I dressed in a tuxedo and rode a shopping cart into Mirror Lake,” he said. “It’s all about presentation and form. Oh sure, I could have gone naked, but there’s no style and sophistication with that.”
With a tradition like the Mirror Lake jump, OSU has attracted some of the most talented leapers on the planet.
“I came here specifically for the lake jumping,” Shamus Kerleaingeareilakareoneokmeas said.
The sophomore from Uzbekistan, majoring in aviation, is one half of the best pairs team on the planet.
“My partner, Nadia Lallkneveirmeinertz, is currently working with the great jumping coach Samuel Lawrence in England,” he said.
Lallkneveirmeinertz will join Kerleaingeareilakareoneokmeas at OSU next fall in time for the annual Michigan jump.
“We have this great routine where Nadia stands on my shoulders as I ride on a skateboard holding two tiki tourches and we launch ourselves into the water while I balance a garbage can on my nose and she drop-kicks a puppy – it’s won us three world championships,” Kerleaingear-eilakareoneokmeas said.
Lost in all the excitement surrounding the addition of lake jumping are the other two newly added sports: bandy and ski orienteering.
“With all of the hysteria about lake jumping around here, I doubt anyone even knows we exist,” Gerald Abrams, a senior in radiology and the president of the OSU bandy club said. “Bandy is a great sport and no one is paying attention to us. People suck.”
Not all members of the OSU community are sympathetic to Abrams’ situation.
“Oh, boo hoo, poor bandy,” Hrandral said. “Maybe if there was a Michigan bandy match it would be relevant but there isn’t one, so zip it.”
The student sentiment seems to be the same for ski orienteering.
“Orienteering, never heard of it,” Joshua Kabler, a freshman in religious studies said. “Is it like decorating? I hate decorating things. Decorating things is not a sport, getting plowed and jumping in a dung filled lake, now that’s a sport.”
Despite the lack of interest in bandy and orienteering, many OSU students are excited about the Vancouver games.
“People are finally going to see Ohio State’s athletic greatness on a global scale,” Henry Quinton, a freshman in radiology said. “2010 should be my graduation year and hopefully I’ll be spending my winter break in Canada, as I compete for a gold in the team jumping competition. This is a dream come true.”
