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Sex preferences don’t fit in boxes

I like to think that I am a hard person to label. I’m feisty but shy. I’m just as happy going to a party as I am staying at home reading. I love to scream at the TV during baseball games just as much as I love spending all day in a museum. I adore vegetables but can also eat an entire jar of queso dip in one go. In short (which I am), I have a lot of varied interests, not one of which describes me completely.

I also realize that plenty of people have exactly opposite personalities and interests. I would no more try to force my father to go shopping with me than I would force my roommate to watch a Yankees game. Any two people are rarely likely to have the exact same interests (the obvious exception being here on campus on the day of the Michigan game).

So it infuriates and confuses me when people try to box others into neat little categories, especially when it comes to sexuality. Human sexuality has so many facets and dimensions that it seems impossible to lump everyone together in one of three groups: straight, gay or bi. Sex isn’t a multiple choice test. There is no “right choice” that perfectly answers the question.

I think pressure to label everyone’s sexuality comes from the way our society views sex and love. The next step in America, after growing up, leaving your parents and getting a job, is to find a partner of the opposite sex, get married and have kids. But why? Why on earth should every person follow that path, especially when it’s obvious that not everyone has the desire to do so? And why should we judge what others choose to do with their lives?

Not every person is cut out for that kind of lifestyle. Some people are not sexually attracted to the opposite sex. Some people are but are also attracted to the same sex. Some people are not sexually attracted to anyone at all. Some people are attracted to so many people that the idea of a monogamous relationship is absurd. Whatever the case, what these people, and all people, choose to do with their lives is their own business.

The idea of judging someone’s life based on who they love is absurd. I cannot see how the person someone chooses to associate with, in whatever capacity, affects anyone else or is relevant to anything. If you never know that Joe Smith from Podunkville, Iowa, is married to Bob, not Betty, how does that change your life?

(Hint: The answer is that it doesn’t.)

There is no need to label people to make them fit your worldview. There are billions of people on this planet, and there’s no way to put them into neat little boxes that completely sum up each one.

Why can’t we all just accept that, out of all the people on this planet, there are going to be some who don’t fit into your boxes? I know I, for one, have better things to do than worry about what’s going on in someone else’s bedroom. This world could use a whole lot more love, and the form that love comes in shouldn’t be of any concern. We have bigger problems than who’s spending the night in whose bed. Let’s stop caring about the little things and start working on our bigger issues.

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