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With Spring comes fake tans, pesky bugs, minimal clothing

Clearly, it’s springtime. Pesky ants have begun to invade every nook and cranny of my house. The first dandelions of the season are starting to bud. The incessant chirping of birds awakens you much too early in the morning, while the obnoxious crickets impede upon your already severely minimized sleep time throughout the night. The fresh air and warm temperatures tend to have a rather interesting effect on the entire human population. It’s as if the rush of wind from open car windows blows through the ears of drivers and clears their head of even the most basic driving knowledge. People seem to think that because their radios are blasting music loud enough to hear from a mile down the road, they can be absorbed in their own little world and not pay an ounce of attention to any of their surroundings. I can’t tell you the amount of times this weekend that sunglasses-clad drivers have come mere millimeters away from ramming into me as they test their brakes going from 85 mph to a dead halt in .5 seconds.

Spring Break is over, and although some of the student population didn’t actually leave Ohio, the vast majority of our classmates are sporting a golden glow. Layers of clothing are being shed before the accumulated winter fat has yet to be worked off, causing a quite interesting, yet mildly disturbing scene around campus. Consequently, the RPAC will be packed with these same girls thinking that using an elliptical machine for 20 minutes at the rate of tortoise will give them the beach body that they so desperately crave. Then, they’ll leave straight from the gym to grab Chipotle before class.

My personal favorite part of springtime is that this is the time of the year when exes seem to come out of the woodwork to contact you to “catch up.” These are guys you haven’t texted, called or played Words With Friends with you in months. Really guys? C’mon. Even most animals know never to pick the same mate twice.

Oh springtime, it really does bring out the best in people.  

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