My friend lives right off High Street on East 18th Avenue, which is a good location for late night burrito runs and bad when a random bum runs into the neighbor’s living room and steals his wallet.The street dead ends into High, and the resulting area is a hobo Hilton. Sometimes it can be frustrating going through the panhandler gauntlet to get to his place, but it’s worth the trade-off when you get to see characters like the High Street midget. My friends and I ran into the midget the other night. It’s popular lore he appeared in the movie Time Bandits, but was screwed by Hollywood and is now bitter and homeless. Whether true or not, he’s an Ohio State institution as much as football and drunken riots.So it’s rather disturbing to see someone mistreat him, in the same way I would be bothered by someone urinating on President William “Bubbies” Kirwan. After my buddies gave him a handful of cigarettes, rather typically a white hat-wearing frat geek thought he would prove himself a big man by harassing a midget.I’m not sure of the exact details, but Johnny Khaki got right in the midget’s face and demanded he “say yes.” The midget was not his usual ornery self and obliged, but Mr. Communication Major wasn’t having it. He persisted in screaming in the midget’s face, and all while I stood back like a whimp, praying the little guy had a shiv hidden somewhere.OSU has a nice mix of big city cats and good ole’ boys and girls. Many come from places where they’ve never seen a homeless person before, much less the shear amount we have here. No matter if you want to give them money or not, a good rule of thumb is to remember the homeless are human beings and should be treated with at least a touch of respect.The point is driven home by last week’s article “Familiar hobo dies; ashes may rest at local coffee shop.” Joe Wheeler was homeless and spent most of his time at the Insomnia coffee shop. Insomnia employee Mike Schneider and OSU student Ross George befriended Wheeler, and ended up doing much more.Wheeler was apparently getting robbed blind of his Social Security check, so Schneider and George took it upon themselves to set up a guardianship for Wheeler and find him a home. For the past two years, the duo shopped for him and managed his money. Wheeler died the week before last at age 69.We could all learn a lot about decency from Schneider and George. Some are drunk and overagressive, but a homeless person’s life is infinitely more difficult than ours. Many are mentally ill, and most have a drinking or drug problem.But if being drunk and overagressive is a crime, then most of 15th Avenue should be locked up. White hats repeat after me: Daddy bought my sports utility vehicle and pays my frat dues. His deep pockets allow me to buy my multiple layers of clothing, and this is due to nothing more than the chance of birth.I stopped giving money to the homeless last year, mainly just because if I stopped for every beggar it would take an hour to get anywhere. This is selfish, but in many ways giving bums money just worsens matters by encouraging drinking and drug use.My former roommate is much closer to the angels, a virtual ATM for bums. He used to work in the Short North and didn’t have a car, so he would have a 45-minute walk home if he got off late at night.He bussed tables and got tips, so his pockets were full of dollars. He gave every homeless guy he saw a buck or two, and during the long walk would sometimes blow most of his money giving it away.I always figured he was kind of a legendary figure among bums, a Johnny Appleseed for the homeless set.With Scheiner and George, they did big. With my old roommate, it was a smaller gesture. We could all learn a lesson from them, especially me, who was too chicken to stand up to a drunk bully.
Nathan Crabbe is a junior from Akron who wonders what happened to the “Help is on the way” guy. His radio show’s season premiere can be heard tonight at 7 p.m. on the student-run station. Crabbe’s column appears Wednesdays in the Lantern.
