When computer engineers hang out, the atmosphere can get creepy. Nothing overtly disturbing or strange happens; rather, little things can be odd. Such oddities occur at moments when we’re fairly spent on the subject of arrays, binary maps and recursive functions. At these moments we, like many of the rest you, revert to bad humor and pointless anecdotes in a desperate attempt to deny harsh facts: As ducks sit on sunlit rippling water quacking contemptuously at passing skiers and sailboats, we sit in a windowless room staring blankly into a heartless computer that speaks only in strange tongues.A classic joke engineers use to deny the situation at hand is perpetual motion. Oftentimes, when presented with what seems like an impossible or at least overly cumbersome task, the engineer will smile politely and reassure a conversation partner with something along the lines of, “Sure, and then I’ll get right on that perpetual motion project.” In some circles such a remark is a veritable “who’s on first.”I don’t deny my nature. I don’t claim to be above this strange sense of humor. Last week when a good friend and lab partner cracked, “It’s like we’re all operating on a T1 and you’re at 2,400 bits per second.” I laughed to rib a partner in the midst of a mental lapse. In fact, I guffawed. And even the classic perpetual motion joke tends to illicit a snicker from me. But there is one thing that always bothers me about that joke.The joke is based on the assertion that perpetual motion is unattainable, but I know that this assertion is false. I have observed the unrestrained propagation of energy. I have observed perpetual motion. Okay, maybe the theory wouldn’t hold up in a scientific court of law, but just the same, perpetual motion exists. Perhaps the beauty of the realization of perpetual motion lies in the fact that anyone can witness and be causal in this physical phenomenon. But as I said before, this is not tangible. It is not measurable. You will not find a 10-page article about it in the next journal of physical science. This is something you can only witness and experience for yourself.So now that you’re on the edge of your seat in anticipation screaming, “Tell me Andrew, tell me how I too can be a part of this intellectual revolution.” I will tell you. But I must warn that it takes extreme dedication and minutes of practice.First, you will need a mirror. When you’ve acquired this item, sit in front of it looking directly into your own eyes. Now move your eyes slowly to the reflected image of your lips. This is where it gets a little tricky. Do you see the corners of your mouth? Curl them evenly in an upward direction. If you’re a little more limber than most, you may even be able to expose a few teeth. Now I know what you’re thinking; this is a little ridiculous. But worry not, for you have not yet found the golden ticket wrapped around the Wonka Bar. To get the lifetime supply of chocolate, you must perform this physical feat in the presence of others. Who the others are is insignificant. Others could be professors, students, coworkers, a belligerent dwarf or even the meter maid writing you that parking ticket.It is in performing this act that you are planting the seed of perpetual motion. For as the recipient of your gesture moves through his or her day, the positive energy you have passed on will manifest itself in the lives of each person he or she comes in contact with. Your minor effort will still propagate through our world years after the cold wet earth has claimed your body.Perhaps the most exciting feature of this discovery, however, is that a soft smile is just the beginning. A kind word, a friendly greeting or a held door can all be substituted for your curled lip. And as your abilities expand, you can move to a maneuver that requires more skill and dexterity. I’ve seen professionals attempt up to as many as four such moves simultaneously.But take it slow, you don’t become Jimi Hendrix the first time you pick up a Stratocaster guitar. On the flip side of that coin, you don’t have to be Michael Jordan to enjoy a game of basketball.So I urge you to try this little experiment for yourself. Be generous. Give a smile, a hug or a handshake. Love a little. Stop listening to the voice inside your head long enough to just experience those you are with. The next time you’re listening to someone, stop thinking about what you’re going to say in response – just listen instead. Because I promise you, I have yet to find a single soul who has taken on this experiment and had anything short of a life changing experience.
Andrew Hall is a senior electrical and computer engineering major.