Is it just me or does Ohio State intentionally hire the most inept, obnoxious people it can possibly find to be ushers at the home football games?Hopefully my visit to the ‘Shoe this Saturday for the Michigan game will not be marred like my last visit for the Michigan State game. I and many others were forced to tolerate an individual such as was described above. While sitting in section 9C, I and my fellow Ohio State fans were subject to the tyrannical rule of an usher who will be dubbed the “Seat Nazi.” Actual names in this story have been changed to protect not the innocent but the chronically stupid.In any case, this particular usher’s life must be of absolutely no consequence in the real world because he delighted in handing out his exceptionally pathetic verdicts to his unknowing subjects, an usher on an obvious power trip. This “Seat Nazi” as he became known in our, and adjoining, sections, would force his increasingly mutinous crew in sections 9C and 11C to walk completely out of their way, at his merry whim, to get to their seats, causing other members of the section to move unnecessarily.I have confirmed similar treatment to other fans throughout the stadium. The “Oakley” adorned (well I’ll call them “Oakley” sunglasses even though they were obviously cheap imitations) “Seat Nazi” would force any students unfortunate enough to pass through his assigned jurisdiction, to take the long way around in getting to their seats. Let me illustrate exactly what he would do.Section 9C ends at the entrance of the 11C section. Seat 26, of many rows, in section 9C are on the aisle leading up and down from the entrance to section 11C. Each seat 26 is within 10 steps of the 11C entrance. When a student left his seat and returned to the 11C entrance with a ticket reading section 9C, seat 26, row whatever, the “Seat Nazi” would force him to go to the 9C entrance and walk down the packed rows forcing each person to move or stand up.When attempting to be considerate to other fans, I attempted to walk along the first row where people didn’t have to move, the “Seat Nazi” yelled at me for not walking down my own row. The “Seat Nazi” would, however, allow older visitors to the stadium with 9C tickets to pass unmolested through his territory. Isn’t that age discrimination?The “Seat Nazi” continued his tyranny, causing his subjects to consider a coup, overthrowing our dictator, hopefully over the C-deck railing. The “Seat Nazi’s” reign finally ended when his protectors, Columbus Police, left to attend a doughnut conference. At this point the stupidity of the “Seat Nazi” was silenced. No more were his commands heard or followed; and the people rejoiced. Ohio State, please try not to hire these incompetent ushers with a maximum of a fourth grade education and a god complex.
Joshua King is a senior majoring in journalism. He is so ticked off that, although he has vented his frustrations in this article, it has helped little to calm him down. He can be reached at [email protected].