A 6-4 record through ten contests is hardly perfect.
Win Game No. 11, though, and the season will be considered a “Perfect 10.”
Winning No. 7 in Game 11 would give the Ohio State community a highlight to hang their autumn quarter on.
In a fall of budget cuts, “doing something great” and an overzealous sports editor of the campus newspaper – not to mention a national tragedy of unprecedented proportions, AU2001 will be 01 to remember for all the wrong reasons.
Right reasons will enter the picture if Ohio State’s score is greater than Michigan’s score with no time left in the fourth quarter on Saturday.
A mood swing of prozac-like proportions would hit campus with a Buckeye win.
Actual good news would be on the front page of this paper on Monday.
A Lantern with a gigantic-front page photo of Mike Doss or Jonathan Wells, helmet in the air, celebrating a win over Michigan with the headline “Hail to the Victors” underneath would become both the poster of choice in any room on campus and a collector’s item.
Over the next few hundred words I’m going to inform readers of the Top 10 reasons why you’ll pick up a Lantern on Monday on your way to class and hang it on your bedroom wall when you get back from class.
1. The game is scheduled for 1 p.m.
Over the past two decades the Ohio State/Michigan game has consistently started at noon. Over those same two decades Michigan has dominated. The game is also the first Michigan game for Ohio State coach Jim Tressel. The game is No. 11 of the 2001 season. Too many ones. So when someone asks you Saturday night which team won the Ohio State/Michigan game, you’ll say, “OSU one, oops, won.”
2. Charles Woodson plays for the Oakland Raiders.
3. While Ohio State’s field goal kicking has been ugly, Michigan’s girls are uglier.
4. Ohio State finally has a wide receiver that wears the No. 4 that when you hear “20” after it you think of “spectacular 20-yard catch” rather than “4:20.”
5. Jonathan Wells is a bonafide stud. The heart and soul of the Buckeyes is also the team’s most under-appreciated player. No one will appreciate a victory over the school up north more than Mr. Wells.
6. John Cooper is not the coach.
7. Drew Henson plays for the Clippers of the non-Los Angeles variety.
8. Given the chance to play, no one will perform harder than Steve Bellisari. Outside of one mistake at 2 a.m. on a Friday morning, the senior has proved himself to be a leader on – if not off – the field. Michigan’s stingy defense won’t compare to the adversity No. 8 has already faced.
9. The defense will account for nine points on Saturday.
10. 1-0-0 looks much better than 2-10-1.
By the time you finish off your sixth leftover turkey sandwich of the weekend at 4:30 p.m. on Saturday you’ll have a smile on your face as you watch the final seconds of the clock tick off.
Ohio State will beat Michigan.
Hail to the victors.
Dave O’Neil is The Lantern sports editor. Reach him for comment at [email protected]. If Ohio State loses on Saturday, he invites you to use your Monday Lantern as toilet paper.
