You feel it every time you watch CNN; with every confused, nay smurgled utterance our President blubbers into the camera; with every stolen glance through the Victoria’s Secret catalogue – you gain palpable sense of the growing dread in this country.
My fellow masticators, with the threats of terrorism, recession and Valentine’s Day besmirching our otherwise gluttonous thoughts this quarter, your humble food critic discovered a restaurant to alleviate your worries with regard to all three. So sit back, read through this brief lecture, and let your Masticator show the way.
While we’ve heard time after time about how it’s time to get tough on terrorism, The Old Bag of Nails Pub, located at 663 High St., has actually brought me closer to it. I used to hear about Irish car bombs and think, “How horrible!” After this past vacation, I can’t help to think of anything but, “How delicious!”
As the Athletics Department already knows (and never shared with me!), the Irish Car Bomb is a mixed drink consisting of a pint of Guinness, with a shot-glass of Jamison’s Irish Whiskey and Bailey’s Irish Cream, in equal measures. From there, you drop the shot into the glass and commence drinking, quickly. The normally delicious Guinness takes on the flavor of chocolate with a fine finish, indeed. Who knew terrorism could scare so bad but taste so good?
The rest of the bar was well stocked and very efficient. What I can’t vouch for is the bar’s youth and vigor. This isn’t the place to come dance on tables, ladies, lest you attract the affection of rich, lecherous, elderly doctors and businessmen. Not that there aren’t young people present; it just seems at first glance to be a generation beyond typical students.
Now, young Buckeyes might be interested to note that my group and I weren’t carded. Luckily for the Old Bag of Nails, we’re all 21-year-old cynics.
Another thing to note as you peruse the menu, it’s not terribly expensive. All items are between $6 and $11, making even a shiftless bum like yourself feel like Mr. Big Spender – and luckily for me, even if I was broke, my new fiancée’s love don’t cost a thing. Well, maybe a little.
Which brings me to my next point, the Old Bag of Nails would probably make an above-average place for a casual Valentine’s Day dinner; just you, her and the “Soccer Moms” on the tables.
The food, for being so inexpensive, is particularly fetching. Order an appetizer of fried pickles and be “pickled tink” to find a new craving. The fresh pickles remain firm in the center and mixture of grease, pickle and ranch dressing was enough to get me hooked.
The fried mushrooms were remarkably large and great with horseradish. One appetizer can easily “appe-tease” two people, or one sad, lonely girl on Valentine’s Day.
The Fish ‘n’ Chips are locally famous and rightly so. The enormous portions of hand-battered fish with the delicious steak fries are worth bragging rights. Co-Masticator Quinn comments, “(She’s) more than a man can eat.” Maybe so, Quinn. Maybe so.
The Philly steak sandwich was fantastic. Steaming, crispy vegetables over sizzling beef on the toasted bun. I’ve had a few in Philadelphia that didn’t taste quite so good.
In closing, if you visit one bar this quarter, drop by Old Bag of Nails. While you probably won’t do much dancing, you might find a relaxed, comfortable atmosphere that you’re strangely finding yourself beginning to enjoy. Must be getting old.
The Masticator would like to use this space to angrily lash out personal insults, but because he can’t, he shan’t. He can always be reached for comment, praise and especially censure at [email protected].
