Honesty: better late than never

Good Grief! You came down a bit hard on the little vixen from the other day, didn’t you? Sounds like a man who has been there himself and still harbors some resentment! Forgive me if I’m wrong. I am referring to, “Need To Be Free,” about the lady who wants to dump her fiancé, and cheated on him.

The first thing people should know is men are simple (bless their hearts) and women are complicated. Therefore, the dumped fiancé needs to realize that this woman probably never really lied to him. Rather she was trying hard to sort out her true feelings. No easy task when you are going through chemical imbalances constantly as most women do.

She means what she says when she says it. Tomorrow, that might change to something else. Evidence she really has given this some time and thought is revealed in her first statement, “I’ve been thinking about leaving my fiancé for a few months.” He needs to not beg her or pressure her about this, her “final” decision. It may not be. Chasing her around will only chase her further away and then make her scared to ever come back again. In the meantime, he may also choose to be grateful that she is telling him now, instead of after the marriage and a kid or two. Walking around under a dark cloud and with a broken heart is not easy. It’s damned hard. But you do get over it with time.

My advice to her is to do everything in her power to never let this happen again. She needs to watch what she says to guys at all times. They are precious and deserve respect and consideration. Do not betray their trust. Watch that body language, too, so as not to give the wrong impressions. She needs to learn to be as honest. She should fight with all her might the urge to act or speak compulsively and DO NOT make ANY commitments unless she has given it plenty (sometimes years) of time and is 100 percent certain that she wants marriage. If there is ANY doubt in her soul AT ALL, don’t do it. I’ve been the dumped and the dumpee, and this what I’ve learned in my 48 years.

This is regarding your response to “Need to be free” Personally, as someone who has had that same situation happen to me, I thought your response was hilarious. In my case, while the girl never admitted she was cheating, she never denied it. You described exactly the situation as it was and is. It wasn’t necessarily me, or any of the other guys to whom it happened, though in some cases I’ll admit it may have been.

I’d like to thank you for your blunt, honest, and refreshing opinion.