Jay Friedman had one message for the students who attended his program last night: Sex is good.
Friedman’s lecture, “The J-Spot: A Sex Educator Tells All,” emphasized the importance of sex education not focusing on abstinence as the solution to problems caused by sexual activity in young people.
“On a college campus there are a variety of problems that result from sexual ignorance,” Friedman said. “We have unwanted pregnancy, AIDS is still a big issue, there are other sexually-transmitted diseases that are in epidemic proportions, and we have a big problem with sexual assault on campus.”
Katie Hendrix, a freshman in human ecology, said college students are lower than average in terms of sexual knowledge.
“I guess it comes from high school, or they just pick it up from magazines and the media,” Hendrix said.
Esprit Heespand, a freshman in biology, said the level of sexual education in this country is decent, but in some places it is worse.
“There are countries with different beliefs, and economically there are countries that simply don’t have the resources for birth control and testing and so on,” Hendrix said.
On the other hand, Friedman said there are northern European countries which have a much better approach to sexual education.
“The U.S. had the highest rate of teen pregnancies of any developed country of the world. Compare that to northern European countries where pregnancy rates for teens are five to seven times lower than the U.S.,” Friedman said.
Friedman said in these countries sexually transmitted diseases are less frequent, sexual assault rates are lower and abortion rates are lower. He credits a different mindset about sex.
“When I was in Sweden, adult films were very different,” Friedman said.
” ‘Star Wars’ was an adult film because the government felt is was unnecessary for children to see gratuitous violence.”
To achieve the results observed in those nations, Friedman said there should be more open communication about sex.
Friedman discussed three ways men are taught unhealthy lessons about sex. He said the myth about men exploding if they don’t have sex, the bragging “locker room mentality,” and homophobia combine to make sex into a matter of conquest.
Friedman said the results of these unhealthy attitudes can be alarming. He said the average age for inner city boys to have sex for the first time is 11.8 years old.
Friedman was not optimistic about the future. He said the political situation is getting worse for accurate and helpful sex education.
“I see signs all the time that say ‘AIDS kills, sex equals death.’ I’m here to tell you sex does not equal death, sexual ignorance equals death,” Friedman said.
Friedman is not against abstinence, and said everyone abstains at some point in their life.
He suggested people be sure they are ready to have sex. Friedman recommends couples maintain three conditions before they make the decision to have sex.
First, he said couples must affirm, accept and assure each other before they have sex. These three concepts ensure couples have a close relationship and are consensual and not selfish in their desire for intimacy.
