If you were to go to Teen magazine’s Web site at this very moment, – teenmag.com – you could take a quiz: “Are you OBSESSED with your body?” Or you can participate in a poll voicing your opinions on N’SYNC refugee J.C. Chasez’s solo CD. Does it “ROCK,” or is it “BETTER than ‘Justified?'” Girls looking for tips in conversing with the opposite sex are in luck. They can self-medicate their social awkwardness with “10 Things You Should NEVER Say to a Boy.”

Like many adolescent girls, I subscribed to teen magazines when I was younger. I received Sassy magazine. The writers and editors at Sassy exhibited a different approach in teen magazine production. They avoided using capital letters in the middle of a sentence and refrained from writing as if their target audience – females aged 14.4 years – had IQs low enough to merit institutionalization. Instead of being peppered with exclamation points and unnecessarily punctuated words, Sassy was peppered with Yiddish.

Devoid of dieting advice and the above sort of drivel – the kind which can be maddening enough to make any teen want to stab somebody with her Lipsmacker – Sassy was revolutionary.

Editor-in-chief Jane Pratt refused to run ads for diet supplements or articles about weight loss. She replaced them with articles like “The Sassiest Boy In Communist China,” and the infamous “Tiffani-Amber: Something Does Not Compute,” which included hilarious instances where Thiessen quipped her favorite English author as Maya Angelou, and said she liked Shakespeare’s lesser-known works such as “Hamlet.” Thiessen’s portrayal led to a then-publicist to write an editorial complaint stating, “I would like to go on record with my outrage and disbelief.”

Sassy was far from the other teen magazines. Mike D., Thurston Moore, Iggy Pop and Evan Dando penned advice. Kim Gordon printed her recipe for tuna tacos and the Beastie Boys gave their recipe for carrot cake. The quiz “Are You Pretentious?” dared to ask, “Do you write off your interest in “Hello Kitty” as ironic and hip?” A similar quiz, “Are You Obsessive Compulsive?,” asked the same question again and again corresponding with the same four answers to choose from.

Sassy writers wrote with caution to the wind, caring not if their readers got the joke. No magazine of its time – ’88-’94 – could match the attitude.

Prom features have been a staple of teen magazines for decades, and Sassy’s were one of a kind.”Smells Like Prom Spirit” and “Night Of The Living Prom-Heads” were a riot in title alone.

Of course, it was too good to last. Advertisers began pulling out, fearing Sassy was too edgy and subversive. Petersen Publishing – owners of Teen Magazine – bought Sassy. They fired the writers that 13-year-olds knew by name, and turned it into another teen magazine. The audience lost interest and the magazine folded.

Nothing has emerged to fill the void. For six years, an informative magazine arrived in mailboxes, bringing subculture, politics, and humor to girls who would otherwise be learning how to flirt.

Sassy has been gone for a decade, but what about all the girls in Appalachia?

Ashley Hoffman is a senior in English and can be reached for comment at [email protected].