On my way down to the local ghetto mart the other day, I noticed some guy walking quickly in my direction. Thinking he was just a wino looking for some change, I ignored him until he reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter. “Vote ‘no’ on Issue 12,” he said as he handed me the lighter inscribed with the same quote. Because I’ve never found a reason to go against the advice of a strange man and his lighter, I figured I would vote against Issue 12, at least until I had some time to give it some thought.

With the “no blood, no foul” cage match that is the 2004 presidential election, it’s easy to forget about the state and local issues that also need our votes, and Issue 12 is among them. Aiming at a complete smoking ban in all public places, the issue has many restaurant and bar owners – as well as their nicotine-starved patrons up in arms. The movement known as “Can the Ban” has worked tirelessly to put the measure on the ballot after it was adopted by the city council, and now they’re working just as hard to get people to vote against it. Their main gripe is that such a ban would encroach upon our “personal freedoms”, specifically our freedom to smoke in a bar, and the bar owner’s freedom to let us.

“Personal freedom” is a loaded term. As a resident of the city of Columbus, it’s my personal freedom to smoke if I so choose. I can smoke at home, in my car, or anywhere outside as long as it’s allowed. I cannot smoke in a hospital, in my 9:30 history class, or at my mom’s house. That would intrude upon the personal freedom of others who don’t like the smell or cancer-causing attributes of cigarettes that I gave up caring about years ago. But that’s just the black and white of it. Of course you can’t smoke in a hospital, everyone can agree with that. The gray area emerges when you start talking about privately owned bars and restaurants. Can we really have a vote to decide what Moe can do in Moe’s Tavern? I guess so.

I understand why city council might be a little concerned with the health of its citizens. Columbus is consistently among the most overweight cities in the nation. If it were not for the fried cheese-eating, beer-guzzling couch monsters in Wisconsin, we might be the fattest. So the city council decided that instead of zoning ordinances, it would spend some time drafting legislation that would improve the health of the city. Thank the good lord.

I, for one, am always concerned about my health when I step into a bar. A typical list of Friday night health concerns includes, but is not limited to: 10 pitchers of Budweiser, the pool of unidentified liquid in the corner and as the quarter goes on, the increasing chance that I could contract numerous STD’s simply by using the bathroom. Meanwhile, the McDonald’s next door just sold its one-billionth double cheeseburger to a 400-pound woman wearing a shower curtain for a dress. But as long as the air remains smoke-free, I guess we’ll be okay.

I like to think of it this way. The concerned citizens of the world who disapprove of Howard Stern, rap music, and Fear Factor have a very simple option: change the channel. If you don’t like something, avoid it. If you don’t like going to the bar because your clothes smell like smoke and you think you’re growing a tumor, don’t go.

The local pub is the last refuge of the modern-day smoker. They’ve been left outside like the poor dog down the street that can’t control its bladder. They’ve been exiled to distant, windowless rooms in arenas. Have you been to the smoking room at Nationwide? Talk about health concerns. And you know what? That’s the way it should be.

Cigarette smoke is very unhealthy, to say the least. But to make someone stand 30 feet away from the door at a bar just to smoke? I’m sorry, but if you don’t like smoke in a bar, too bad. I don’t like lawmakers that try to impose their standards on others, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to propose a bill making it illegal for them to stand closer than 30-feet from city hall. I’ll just vote for someone else and against Issue 12 while I’m at it.

Scott Woods is a junior in pre-journalism. He can be reached for comment at [email protected].