ATLANTA – The four kids clad in Florida gear sitting next to us at the downtown Hooters early Sunday morning shot some seriously worried glances at each other, and it wasn’t because of the slight bulge in the crotch area of the girl dropping off their wings.
No, only one thing can frighten a young basketball fan more than the realization the watermelon-chested waitress he’s been ogling the past hour might be packing a penis (believe it or not). Instead, these cocky, gator-chomping, transvestite-fantasizing Floridians became visibly nauseous at the exact point ESPN’s Dick, Digger and Jay (not a gay law firm) picked their Gators to cruise past Ohio State in tonight’s national title game.
After all, they’ve been on the other side of such one-sided prognostications before, might I remind you. Didn’t turn out so well for Troy, Teddy and Tressel (too easy). And although national title games aren’t won or lost with “experts'” picks, of course, both Buckeyes’ and Gators’ fans certainly have reasons to be wary of games deemed unnecessary of even being played.
I won’t get into all of that. Although it certainly exists as a motivating tool, the “we get no respect” angle is more tired than Pacman Jones’ public relations team.
Yep, these Buckeyes are keenly aware they’re not supposed to win tonight. They know the Florida team they’ll be battling features Jesus, Buddha and the Prophet Mohammed himself on their front line. They realize it’ll take the Katrina of perfect storms to hoist the crystal basketball high above the Georgia Dome floor.
But they also know they’re not the same squad the Gators bent over the O’Connell Center scorers’ table Dec. 23. They know freshman point guard Mike Conley Jr. has morphed into perhaps the finest player in the country not taking “classes” in Austin, Texas. They know Greg Oden foul trouble leads to the style of basketball the Buckeyes feel most comfortable playing and, with a right wrist that’s now more flexible than a 14-year-old boy’s with his dad’s Penthouse and a bottle of hand cream, a whistle-swallowing officiating crew can lead to Oden stifling opponents’ offenses with the best of ’em.
On paper, the Gators are the back-to-back national champs in waiting. On hardwood, well, they might be the better team, too. But “might be” isn’t “are,” at least not yet. There’s no denying these Buckeyes have the talent and the desire to make everything right in Columbus again, to avenge the embarrassment many in the capital city still marinate in on a daily basis. There’s no doubt it could all come together tonight – the perfect game to cap the most perfect basketball season at the nation’s most perfect football school.
No matter what happens, though, there’s no doubt it’s been a hell of a ride. Thanks Buckeyes.
Fan update
On Tuesday I wrote a column blasting Buckeyes’ fans for their inexcusable lack of support in San Antonio for the third and fourth round games. I received dozens of e-mails, almost all of which used the fact that OSU is a football school and the basketball team hasn’t been a national powerhouse as an excuse. Complete bulls—. I’m happy to report, however, the Buckeyes are only outnumbered by Gators’ fans this weekend in Atlanta, and by a narrow margin at that. The noise and enthusiasm inside the Georgia Dome rivaled that of a mini-Horseshoe during a mini-Michigan game. That combined with the overwhelming support from Georgetown and UCLA fans after the semifinals on the streets of Atlanta has me thinking the crowd will be Buckeye dominant for tonight’s game. Nice work, Buckeye fans. You (partially) proved me wrong. Keep it up. There are plenty more Final Fours to come.
Scott Woods is a senior in journalism, sports editor at The Lantern and quite possibly the luckiest SOB on the face of the Earth (except for maybe the Florida sports editor – we’ll see tonight). He can be reached for comment at [email protected].