Students packed into Hitchcock auditorium Monday night to see Ralphie May, the comedy star known for his stints on Comedy Central. But fans grew restless when the 8 p.m. start time came and went and all they saw on stage was the vice-president of the Ohio Union Activities Board, Vicki Bouttavong, begging students to vote for her as the “Next CW Star.”
To make matters worse, once the show did begin 20 minutes later, Lahna Turner, May’s wife and introduction act, could not start because of sound problems. With a few quick fixes, the show finally got underway.
Photo courtesy of Stacey Pokluda Public RelationsComedian Ralphie May, known for his stand-up specials on Comedy Central, performed Monday night at Hitchcock auditorium.“I knew at an early age I couldn’t be a lesbian because I was so bad at softball,” Turner said. “Asians can build cars. They just can’t drive them.”
The crowd was hesitant at first but obliged her. But even she realized she took it too far when commenting on a “retard” from Boston who couldn’t sing a song.
For a short time, she also made jokes about her husband before he stepped on the stage. “There are advantages of being married to a fatty,” Turner said. “No one will ever think it’s me when I fart in public.” After speaking about May, Turner bowed to the audience and brought on her husband as the crowd roared.
May began his show describing his love for white trash. “Columbus is an island in the middle of white trash country,” May said. He then described a scene when he was at Easton Town Center and saw children running around in bathing suits in the outdoor fountains. “That is the most white-trashiest thing I’ve ever seen. That means the parents planned that shit.”
Throughout the show May dipped into categories of religion and politics, admitting to the audience that he didn’t know Obama was black until January. “I thought he was Puerto Rican. Como se llama Obama?
“A lot of things changed on [voting day]. Black people, you got to start tipping,” May said. “You can’t bitch about the man keeping you down when you’re the man.”
His religious portion turned into an ode toward his favorite food, fried chicken from Chick-Fil-A. Because the owner of Chick-Fil-A is a devout Baptist, he closes the restaurant chain on Sundays.
“I can’t count the number of times I pulled up at the drive-thru [on Sundays] and sat there for 20 minutes,” May said. “If you’re so religious, why don’t you keep the same hours as heaven does, 24/7?”
May went into more detail about his religious views, sharing his desire to create his own religion, the First Church of What’s Happening Now.
To close out the evening, May asked the audience for improvisation inspiration, but interrupted his finale to tell a crowd favorite about going to see a “black movie” in a “black movie theater.”
Throughout the two-hour program, the audience’s laughter was interrupted only by brief pauses of hesitation because of the racy material. After breaking through with his wife, May took the themes and ran with them.
“I’ve seen things of [May] over the Internet,”
said John Greenzalis, a first-year in engineering. “He’s really blunt and up-front about everything.”
May had a stand-up special that aired Sunday night on Comedy Central which Matt Teegarden, first-year in exploration, watched. “He did some similar stuff, but it was pretty fresh material,” Teegarden said.
May stuck around after the show to take pictures and sign autographs. May’s new comedy special, “Austin-tatious,” will be re-aired on Comedy Central Nov. 30 at 9 p.m.
Adam Bianco can be reached at [email protected].
