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Satire: Undercover police officer attends Halloween party dressed as police officer

A festive Halloween costume party was reportedly busted Wednesday night by an undercover police officer who gained admission by dressing up as a police officer.

Reports claim Officer Doug Dunkle, a routine undercover for the Columbus Division of Police, stopped by the party in full uniform, where the unsuspecting students just thought his costume was “super detailed.”

Kevin Bauer, a second-year in visual communication design and host of the party, commended the officer’s deceptive disguise.

“Yeah man, we had no idea he was a cop,” said Bauer about the cop dressed exactly like a cop. “I just thought he went all out on his costume for the party. I mean, he even had handcuffs!”

Bauer went on to say the handcuffs he was so impressed by Officer Dunkle bringing eventually went on his own wrists, as he was the first one arrested for hosting the out-of-control party.

Other attendees said once Officer Dunkle pulled out his gun and told everybody to “get down,” the party turned to chaos.

“I was doing a keg stand in my Cap’n Crunch costume when I heard somebody scream ‘CALL THE COPS! HE’S GOT A GUN!’” said Eddie Greensack, a first-year in history.

Another student did not see the gun and confused the officer to be hired entertainment.

“I was like ‘What’s this guy in the cheap cop costume yelling about?’” said Donald Rafailedes, a third-year in marketing. “He some kind of male stripper? Cool.”

Apparently, after numerous 911 calls made by students claiming there was a crazy party-goer with a gun, additional units arrived to the scene.

“At first, the other cops didn’t know the first cop was a cop even though he was dressed as a cop and those cops tried arresting that cop while that cop was trying to arrest us for drinking in our slutty cat costumes. It was totally cop-ception,” said Trishy Belland, a first-year in theater.

Although there was initial confusion between the boys in blue, once badges were flashed, they were able to round up and arrest everybody left at the party.

Officer Dunkle spoke with The Dim Bulb about his secretive tactics to get into the crazy Halloween party.

“Underage drinking is a big problem on campus, so we send undercover officers to bust the parties,” Dunkle said. “Usually, though, we stand out like a sore thumb and everybody knows we’re cops because we’re 40-year-old guys squeezing into Abercrombie tees and trucker hats. The cop costume idea was genius.”

Dunkle went on to add that although the party-goers are supposed to be intelligent college students, they “sure are as stupid as they dress” and “deserved to get arrested in their Walter White costumes.”

This is part of a series called “The Dim Bulb.” It is a weekly dose of satire, intended to poke fun at the university and affiliates. The contents of these articles are not factual and are not meant to be taken seriously.

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