Friends and family of rape survivors experience firsthand, the emotional repercussions of rape. With this perspective they become an important provider of emotional support.

The violence associated with rape can leave the survivor feeling powerless, and for better or worse, the experience of powerlessness from rape is life-changing.

The people in direct daily contact with the survivor witness the anguish. Empathetic to the survivor’s struggle, those people experience some of same issues the survivor addresses. Because of their unique experience, the counseling support communities that treat the survivors often refer to these people as co-survivors of sexual assault.

Erin Murdock, a junior business major, has experienced rape from the co-survivor’s perspective. During her second semester at OSU, Murdock’s friend was raped by a male acquaintance that invited her to his dorm to watch a movie.

“I found out what happened in between classes. I lost control, and I began to cry. I just stopped everything that I was doing to cry,” Murdock said.

The reaction of the friend’s parents was just as intense.

“Her father wanted to find the guy who did it and kill him. Her mother didn’t want to talk her at all about what happened,” Murdock said.

Murdock was physically far removed from the situation, but her emotion and empathy for her friend was still extreme.

“She wanted to put up a front that everything was OK, but I knew that it wasn’t. I was definitely feeling powerless. It was a horrible feeling,” Murdock said.

After a rape, modes of communication and limits traditionally associated with relationships are immediately changed.

“Co-survivors are reacting from helplessness. They don’t know how to help the survivor,” said Louise Douce, director of Counseling and Consultation Services.

Because of personal stress, a survivor will become distant to friends and family that were once close.

“The initial reaction of the co-survivor when a (survivor) pulls away is that it is the (co-survivor’s) fault. Like the survivor, we show what is happening is not their fault,” said Chuck Klink, a counselor at Counseling and Consultation Services.

Openness and mutual respect is the key to rebuilding the relationship. Counseling and Consultation Services offers psychological counseling on the fourth floor of the Ohio Union.

“When counseling, we get an assessment of where the survivor is emotionally and incorporate that struggle into the relationship,” Klink said.

Statistics by The National Women’s Study, a research project conducted by the Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center, revealed that only 16 percent of rapes are reported to police because rape survivors fear the disbelief of officials, friends and family. Because of the survivor’s fear, friends and family become integral players in reporting rape.

“We see many survivors come into the emergency room with a friend for support. These friends are the reason the person came to the emergency room,” said Jocelyn Zerkle-Kidd, interim coordinator of the Sexual Assault/Domestic Violence Program. She oversees rape cases at University Medical Center.

The sexual assault program also offers trained advocate volunteers who offer empathetic support to survivors, acting as professional co-survivors.

“We are trying to physically and mentally support the survivors. The advocate stays with the person the entire time and explains to the person everything that is happening,” Kidd said.

Advocates show how empathy to a survivor can act as a valuable supportive measure.

“I told my friend that I didn`t blame her for what happened. I told her that I was has happy she was alive, and I loved her. It made a big difference,” Murdock said.