Time was running out. We needed to make a quick decision and fast. Where do you take your mother for her 25th birthday? She’s clearly too young for MCL yet still too old for Chuck E. Cheese.
After some brainstorming, my father and I settled on Hops, a restaurant that touts a diverse menu and vats of homemade beer — something for the whole family, right?
At first glance, Hops, located at 1481 Polaris Parkway, had a lot going for it: handicap accessibility, a spotless interior, dark wood and brass furnishings and comfortable lighting.
I called 825-4677 for call-ahead seating in case they were busy, though it turned out Tuesday night at Hops wasn’t very busy. Our booth was a great fit for four people, with a clean handsome table and an accompanying candle.
From the stucco walls to the real cloth napkins, Hops is still casual with just a few perks of fine dining. There’s a well-stocked bar with a few TVs but Hops is by no means a sports bar.
Our waitress, Andi, was very quick to greet our table and bring us our drinks. My fresh-brewed iced tea was crisp, cool and refilled promptly but not so often as to be interrupting.
The Thoroughbred Red ale was great and full-bodied; similar to a Killian’s Red but perhaps a little sweeter.
Another kind word about our waitress: She was very accommodating to substitutions and other conflicts my parents had with the menu. Allowing my father to substitute a baked potato for fries was a surefire way to his heart. It’s flexibility like that which makes good service great.
A short while after ordering, the waitress brought out the complimentary croissants and salads. An aside on the croissants — Anyone who knows me knows that I like my croissants like I like my women: Hot, inexpensive, and drizzled in honey-butter sauce. When Andi brought out four croissants, I don’t have to tell you I was in masticating heaven.
My Caesar salad was most excellent. The fine salad prepcooks at Hops managed to avoid all of the common salad pit-falls.
For instance, my salad tasted fresh; many restaurants make them all early in the evening and leave them to waste away in a refrigerator. The croutons were crispy, the romaine lettuce was cool and robust, and the fresh ground pepper added just the right finishing touch.
About 10 or 15 minutes after our salads, our waitress brought out our entrees. I ordered the Jamaican top sirloin. While I am unsure how traditionally Jamaican the steak was, I am positive that it was absolutely delicious. I ordered mine medium well and it came out nice and brown with a slightly pink center.
Their lean and tender 12-ounce steak is marinated in pineapple, soy, and ginger for four days prior to grilling and you could definitely taste the preparation.
My baked potato was enormous. It was the kind of baked potato that Adkins Dieters dream about. This baby was steaming hot and crumbly. Toss some butter, sour cream and pepper on it and you’re set.
My brother Zack commented on his Thai salad:
“When I was first handed the salad I couldn’t believe my eyes. The salad looked like a work of art. I’m a waiter and I’ve never seen salads like this. There was just the right amount of peanut dressing and wontons over a bed of romaine and iceberg lettuce. There were about 14 peeled shrimp floating around in there. I walked away from it with a very pleasant aftertaste, too.”
I asked him whether the shrimps were cleaned and it appeared that all of his shrimp had their poop chutes removed.
My dad ordered the full rack of baby back ribs and had this to say:
“This huge slab had 13 bones of tender meat. The sauce had a nice smoky flavor and left a nice tangy aftertaste.”
The waitress brought out a damp towel and a lemon wedge for his hands, which I thought was awfully classy for a restaurant whose motto is “It’s all good.”
The birthday girl ordered the chicken pasta that consisted of two boneless chicken breasts over linguine. She offered up these words of praise:
“The chicken was very tender and the garlic and Parmesan cheese complemented the dish well. The garlic toast that came on the side was just the right touch. All in all, it was great with a good presentation, though it was a little too much food for me. It’ll be lunch tomorrow.”
For dessert, my mom had a birthday sundae and the rest of us split a Hops Brownie. Both dishes consisted of Blue Bell ice cream, homemade whipped cream and chocolate sauce over a rich brownie. Masticators who prefer male brownies will be happy to find their dessert loaded to bear.
In conclusion, while obvious similarities exist between Hops, Cooker, TGI Friday’s, and other American-Style restaurants, Hops has a few distinctions that set it apart.
First of all, the service was superb from start to finish. My little brother whispered to me during dinner, “Dude, I’m a waiter and I’m like 10 times worse than this.”
Second, everything we ordered tasted great. Not just good and not just because we were hungry. The only sticking point is the bill. Dinner for two will probably run between $20 and $30.
Hank Mylander is a junior from Westerville majoring in Management Information Systems. Hey kids, Halloween is coming! Remember to always have your parents inspect your candy before you eat it! The masticator can be reached at [email protected].
