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Commentary: Madonna, M.I.A. far from vogue in Super Bowl halftime number

Courtesy of MCT

If this year’s Super Bowl was any indication, a skipping, cartwheeling skeleton does not make for quality halftime entertainment.

Madonna, with some help from LMFAO, Nicki Minaj, M.I.A. and Cee Lo Green, performed at halftime of Super Bowl XLVI Sunday.

In none-too-surprising fashion, it was as horrifying to watch as expected.

In a performance largely unable to capture the same flair of the electro visuals of the field and stage, Madonna, in a last gasp attempt to avoid being whisked off to an Indianapolis retirement home, was lifeless and awkward, and her age showed, especially when she almost fell down while dancing. Though not as embarrassing as Christina Aguilera dripping a mysterious susbtance down her leg while performing at Etta James’ funeral Jan. 28, it should be a sign that her time has passed regardless.

In terms of sheer spectacle, though, Madge certainly didn’t disappoint. The visuals, both flashed on the field and on the stage, made for nice eye candy, even when Madonna was upside down flashing a bit too much crotch for anyone’s taste. However, visual flair should be par for the course for the Material Girl, who rolled onto the field at Lucas Oil Stadium atop an army of beefcaked Roman soldiers.

Still, her performance was largely boring, underwhelming and hard to watch. A hardly agile 53-year-old Madonna gingerly doing cartwheels on-stage and lip-synching her greatest hits was far from entertaining and made me long for the pre-Nipplegate era of Super Bowl entertainment.

Sadly, based on Sunday’s happenings, it’s likely we won’t be reverting back to that era any time soon.

While M.I.A. was on stage, she subtly flashed her middle finger and dropped the S-word, which NBC was unable to censor before it aired. Though not as egregious as Janet Jackson’s nipple being broadcast to tens of millions of homes in 2004, it will likely do nothing to stop the NFL, which has had its tail between its legs since “Nipplegate,” from continuing to bring on safe, old acts for future halftime shows.

If it were 1985, Madonna would have been a logical choice for the halftime show — she was in her prime and actually relevant. Today, she’s nothing more than a washed up, pasty bag of bones so unsure of herself that her lip-synching gives her a total lack of stage presence that she once had in her heyday.

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