Welcome back to another fun-filled and exciting quarter at OSU. Things are changing all around us. Business buildings seem to be popping up like mushrooms. The Neil-17th building disappeared mysteriously over the break. The Boss Dog over by engineering will finally be carrying something other than dogs. An exciting new campus newspaper, The Observer, will be hitting newsstands if you haven’t gotten one already. USG’s teacher evaluations publication will explode in size. As for me, I am still here to entertain my friends and exasperate my enemies.I read the Dispatch for the first time in 2 years over the break. They lobbed one on my doorstep although I obviously don’t subscribe. I took a seat in one of my cheap plastic lawn chairs on that sunny afternoon, cracked open the Thursday edition and a cold beer. A few pages in and I was planning this column in haste.In case you haven’t heard, Greenbrier High School in Evans, Georgia is the latest scam in the effort by some to sell out our children. You see, they had declared one of their school days, “Coke Day,” or more specifically “Coke in education day.” Admittedly, the school was attempting to win a local contest sponsored by Coca-Cola Bottling for a whopping sum of $500. In addition, there was a national prize of $10,000.Students had to engage in day long activities involving Coke. Chemistry students checked the sugar content, home economics students baked with it, and other students spelled out the word Coke for a school picture, among other things.My hero, Mike Cameron, a 19-year-old senior at this school showed up on “Coke Day” with a Pepsi shirt. Extreme measures were in order from school Principal Gloria Hamilton. Just one step from expulsion, Mike got the next worst punishment metered out by school principals. He was suspended from school.I claim that Mike should sue under his first amendment rights, but that isn’t the issue according to Hamilton. She claims that he was being disruptive and rude, messing up their precious Coke photo. You really make my heart bleed, Gloria.In terms of being disruptive and rude, we at OSU stomped all over this last quarter with the Albright Air Strike Sales Pitch. If we were protected by the first amendment then why is Mike exempt? Constitutional rights don’t matter, though. After all, the school was trying to get some cash from Coca-Cola.You know, its not like they awarded a food service contract or something. We debated that here recently. They deliberately sought to merchandise their students, selling their time and attention for dollars. At best this is downright unethical but as far as I am concerned, this amounts to little more than slavery.It is generally considered slavery under the law to capitalize on the labor of prisoner inmates without compensation, although the compensation may be very small. I guess high school students have fewer rights than prison inmates in the eyes of principal Hamilton.This should delight the parents of this school district. These parents should have those same home economics students bake a cake with principal Hamilton instead of Coke. Then the chemistry students should analyze her sugar content. I suspect, however, that they won’t find her all that sweet.
David Overeem is a regular Lantern columnist.
