When you run a campaign like a circus, be prepared to be thought of as a clown. The lasting legacy of the current Undergraduate Student Government presidential race won’t be innovative ideas, it will be a new standard for getting cheap votes.Undergraduate Student Government is treated like an obsession by those involved and mocked by those who aren’t. USG members are the Rodney Dangerfields of campus politics, perennially whining about the lack of respect they get.The reason people don’t vote and groups like the newly-formed “USG Sucks” pop up is because most of the campus views USG members no different than any other soulless politician. It’s sad enough when career politicians do anything for votes, but nothing short of pathetic when it’s college students behaving badly.The remaining tickets for USG president are Josh Mandel/Magi Schwartz, Chirag Patel/Nihar Patel, and Mike Pugh/Justin Daw. The first two tickets are composed of USG veterans, the last are the customary protest candidates like Matt Sattler and David Fong before them.Josh Mandel seems like a nice enough fellow. He’s the Waldo of our campus, showing up in dark corners everywhere you turn. There’s Mandel in the orientation video, there’s Mandel giving tours, there’s Mandel…on the cover of the Saver? Yes friends, one isn’t even safe from clipping coupons without coming face to face with Candidate Screech.Mandel has obviously figured out the key to the hearts of college kids. There’s SBX and McDonald’s coupons on the back of some of his fliers. He’s even slapped his platform on pizza boxes. Let me eat my Adriatico’s in peace!Patel Patel Patel Patel Patel Patel…that name rings in my head like a bell, but means nothing to me. The ticket is good at photocopying, that’s clear, but that’s as much as the average voter knows about them.That, and the fact they’ll go to any lengths to try to outdo Mandel. Mandel has a banner on the Undergraduate Student Library, Patel has one on Central Classroom. Mandel has his name painted on McDonald’s, Patel on La Bamba. Mandel puts 30 posters on a kiosk, Patel covers them up with 30 of his own.But the Patels took the prize for extremity with a recent wet t-shirt contest at the Newport. These innovators of campaigning put a contestant in one of their campaign shirts for the chest-bearing festivities. It’s one more reason to associate boobs with the Patel name.Lost in the chaos is the Pugh/Daw team. Mike Pugh brings a refreshing breath of fun to an election filled with people who take themselves way too seriously. Much like Sattler and Fong, he follows in the Hunter S. Thompson and Jello Biafra traditions of the joke campaign.It’s hard not to root for guys who hang lone posters bearing the slogan “We’ll take the presidency seriously but not the campaign,” only to get them covered up within minutes. It’s hard not to like guys who, unlike the dubiously-motived Patel, would give up their stipend to fund a victory party.It’s even harder not to be sympathetic after Patel tried to get them kicked out of the campaign for improper signatures. They don’t have flashy t-shirts and aren’t spending thousands on their campaign. They may not have many important ideas either, but neither do the other tickets. Promises such as student legal services have been toiled on by others for years just for opportunists to take the credit. Others, such as free night parking, are election standbys which could be proven undoable by a simple phone call to Traffic and Parking.The reins need to be brought in. Rules preventing campaigning before the first day of classes were violated when Mandel got his picture on the Saver, sent to students during Spring Break. The Patels have sent out mass e-mails, also clearly prohibited.But enforcing current rules isn’t enough. There needs to be spending caps. This is an election among college students, and it shouldn’t be won because daddy has deep pockets. There needs to be a limit to the number of posters hung on campus, and kiosks should be regulated to avoid the battle of the staple armies.There’s no doubt Mandel and Patel have the qualifications to be USG president. But there comes a time when your vote is best utilized making a point. A protest vote can be a very powerful thing, if you get off your butt and use it.
Nathan Crabbe is a junior from Akron who wishes sorority girls would stops treating Stacey’s disappearance like an Easter egg hunt. His radio show can now be heard Tuesday at 7 pm on the student-run station.
