I can’t stand Pinkertons, you know, those overzealous protectors of parking lots and private property; those mercenaries of the rich who, back in the day, killed unionists for Andrew Carnegie.Yet I really wish they had saved us all from the release of Weezer’s new CD, ‘Pinkerton.’ The private security company had put a restraining order on the band and Geffen records from using the title, which is actually named after a character in ‘Madame Butterfly.’ However it was recently dissolved by a higher court. No such luck.Lyrically, Weezer is the Spinal Tap of the (not so) alterna-rock scene. The opening track, ‘Tired of Sex,’ sets the tone for the entire album with cheap lyrics like the chorus: ‘Thursday night, I’m makin’ Denise. Friday night I’m makin’ Therese. Saturday night I’m making Louise. Oh why can’t I be makin’ love.’ Give me a break. Don’t insult my intelligence.The music, itself, has potential, with melodies, at their best, reminiscent of the Pixies, at their worst, Beck. There is also some skillful use of weird scaled guitar leads and a little slide here and there. But you can be assured, around every corner, is the all too familiar soft/loud, clean/dirty guitar device that has plagued the nineties. Isn’t it about time to amputate this cancer?The fourth track on the CD is called ‘Why Bother,’ which is about ambivalence created between sexual attraction/tension and fear of getting hurt. Yet, at that point, it makes me think of why I’ve wasted this much time listening.If you want, you can listen on until track nine, ‘Falling for You.’ which starts out with the line; ‘Holy cow, I think I got one here.’ But by then it should be clear that you don’t, bucko.