Going to the movies at Ohio State has always been an interesting experience.
Since the Lennox AMC is the only theater within walking distance of the residence halls, I’ve developed a close relationship with it over the years. Even now that I have access to a car, I still remain loyal to the Lennox Center. To be honest, I have no idea why.
On Friday night, I jaunted over to catch an evening screening of “Ice Age.” (Hey, it looked better than “The Sweetest Thing” or “Blade II.”) Friday night is probably the worst possible time to go see a movie, because it’s the night that everybody else thinks is the best night to go see a movie.
After circling the parking lot several times and following a couple walking to their car who we later discovered had no idea where they had parked, we parked around back.
Following the long hike to the door, we purchased the requisite Sour Patch Kids and a Cherry Coke and made our way to the theater. We arrived after the previews had begun, so fortunately, we avoided the excruciating “Movie Tunes,” but unfortunately, we had to navigate the theater in the dark.
Choosing a seat is crucial. It’s important to avoid the following types of people.
A) People who bring extremely young children, who often have an affinity to kick the seat in front of them and talk loudly at all the wrong moments.
B) Large groups of junior high or high school kids who are more worried about who’s sitting next to whom than about what movie is playing.
C) Cutesy couples who put up the armrest and cuddle and giggle during the entire movie.
I chose a seat next to an unassuming older woman. Sadly, she turned out to be D) the type of person who laughs uncontrollably at every single joke, funny or not. She started cackling the second the scrawny squirrel hero appeared on the screen.
In case you wanted to know, the ideal time to go see a movie is at 4:30 p.m. on a Wednesday, by yourself.
A former film professor of mine apologized for scheduling a mid-afternoon showing of “Last Tango In Paris” where we had to watch the film in a roomful of people we knew.
“The only way to watch this movie is in a dark theater, all by yourself,” he said, and he was right.
If a movie is good enough, it can overwhelm your senses and elevate you out of the crowded theater to a level of cinema nirvana. Even if a movie is incredibly engrossing, though, going to the movies as a social event is problematic.
It’s almost impossible, not to mention rude, to detach from and forget the person sitting next to you in the theater, but it’s essential to do so if you want to reach nirvana.
Going to the movies by yourself may seem daunting. What if everyone thinks that you’re by yourself because no one would go with you? But if you think about it, the only people likely to be at the movies at 4:30 p.m. on a Wednesday are other people seeing movies by themselves.
Movie watching, if you’re serious about it, is a delicate process. There are thousands of variables that can ruin a good film.
If only everyone had access to their own personal movie theater, where they could watch the film of their choice in widescreen, with surround sound and no disruptions, the world would be a happier place.
Shelley Davis is a junior in journalism and The Lantern arts editor. Her favorite solo movie watching experience was “Moulin Rouge.” She can be reached for comment at [email protected].
