Hi Harlan,
Lately, I have been feeling extremely down and bad about myself.
I have friends and all, but it just seems like I’m alone in the world. It may be because I have been felling guilty because I smoke or it because I feel my mom hates me and treats my sister like a princess. But for the last two days, for whatever the reason, I’ve been cutting myself on my arm. It relieves some of my inside pain.
I told some of my friends and told them if they told anyone I would kill myself. The scary part is that I didn’t do it to keep their mouths shut. I did it because I want to die, and I would have more of a reason to die if they told. I’m scared of myself. I actually think one day, I’ll wake and put an end to my awful life. I’m scared.
Please Help
Dear Please Help,
Please, please don’t hurt yourself. You’re not alone — I promise. There are people who want to help you — a lot of them have been where you are today, and they know your pain. They want to help. You’re not alone. I’m not just saying that. I know it from writing this column for so many years. Please, ask your parents for help. Ask a teacher at school for help. Ask a friend’s parents for help. If you think you’re going to hurt yourself, contact your local hospital, call 911, or try the following hot line: 1-800- SUICIDE.
Most importantly, know that you are never alone. People love you. They want to help you. Please, let them help you.
Dear Harlan,
Last week, I had my heart broken. My best friend of two years is now dating my roommate who is another good friend of mine. The part where it gets complicated is that I am in love with my best friend and I thought that the feelings were reciprocal until he dropped the bomb on me and said that he wanted to date my roomy.
I have spent every waking moment with my best friend and our relationship has become very mature to the point where we were like lovers except we didn’t have sex.
Now I have to face them everyday and it is so painful. I have told my best friend that I had these feelings for him and he was surprised, but still decided he’d rather date my roommate. I don’t know how I should approach our friendship because I know we still rely heavily on each other for emotional support. I am really hurt.
What should I do?
Why Me
Dear Why Me,
The problem is that you waited two years to tell him. How is he supposed to know that you were in love with him? He didn’t do this to you on purpose. The person who did this to you on purpose is your roommate. She’s hardly a friend.
As for your best friend, talk to him and be totally honest. And then take it from there. He might have strong feelings for your roommate. And if you’re a true friend, you’ll want him to be happy. Either way, I’d find a new roommate. And in the future, don’t wait two years to express your feelings to your best friend.
Need advice? Write Harlan at [email protected] or online at www.helpmeharlan.com. All letters submitted become property of the author. Copyright Harlan Cohen.
