Dating is tricky. As a college student, I know just how hard it can be for everyone. Along with the other replies I get, I’ve received a lot of letters that say, “John, I loved your Taft column, but I just met this girl and I really like her. What should I do?”

Well, friends, I wish I could tell you that once you land a date, the rest of the ride is all fun and games. But believe me, it doesn’t get any easier. The next steps are tough ones, and the first date can be full of very crucial decisions. There’s so much to think about. You don’t want to be too far from campus, but you don’t want to travel the same old party loop. The place can’t be too fancy, or too cheap. It can’t be too loud or too boring.

But for a date with someone you want to get to know – so you can make sure her politics and her taste are satisfactory – the answer is Wild Oats.

Now you’re probably saying, “John … a grocery store? Come on.” But don’t shrug this first-date gem off too quickly. Wild Oats isn’t just a grocery store– it’s a grocery store with a mission statement. At Wild Oats, everyone can “celebrate food, community and the environment” with a store “planting the seeds that will support our communities, employees, and the environment for generations to come.”

It isn’t just a store– it’s a lifestyle, and it’s one you need to get in touch with, if you ever want to appear at all sophisticated. Everything you need to impress that special girl is right there, nestled into those quaint wooden shelves hand-crafted by a hard-working lumberjack indigenous to some romantic locale.

When you first arrive, start the date off right by hitting the deli for a bite to eat. In today’s world, your cuisine selection defines you as a person, and it’s amazing how simple vegetarian food can reveal a side of you your date will love getting to know: intelligent, cultured, pro-animal rights and health-conscious. Also, you can’t beat a place where sushi is made fresh — not once — but twice daily.

After you finish, cap your dinner off with a pair of mocha-chino-latte-whipped-cream-chai-coffee-grandes and start shopping. One can peruse the aisles of vitamins or profusion of minerals — long walls of supplements made so you never have to eat food again.

Next, you might browse the more traditional food sections. Regular grocery items can be found packaged in special ways. For example, not everyone loves pickles, but who doesn’t love a pickle jar wrapped in a cute burlap sack, making it as cozy and liberal as being cuddled-up with some NPR and sautéed tofu on a cold winter’s eve?

Also, the chinaberry-chutney-hummus spreads are a must, as are the sun-dried-tomato-lime-flavored tea blends. One note of caution: these aisles are often crowded, so be firm but reserved. Don’t be intimidated by the patchouli scent, or the world music surrounding the performance artists and Women’s Studies professors. Remember, this is your grocery store too, not just because you live nearby, but because – hey – you read The Bell Jar twice just for fun.

Soon they will understand, and so will your date. Once you’ve staked your claim as being fashionably radical, gently take her down the sweet-smelling candle and bath accessory aisle. Offer to buy her something, but don’t worry about the price. Sure, these products are a little expensive, but remember: you aren’t just buying bath oil, you’re buying all-natural bath oil from the wind-swept plains of Tibet — oil not tested on animals.

Finally, as the date comes to a close, go for the gold. Now’s the time, and Wild Oats is the place. Pick her up a bumper sticker for the Fight for the Whales, or try inviting her to the latest Stop the World Bank Drum Circle Convention scheduled to be in town next week. When you’re leaving the store, honk for peace. Nothing helps refugees and says you’re an activist like blaring your car horn in Columbus.

Good luck.

John Ross is a senior in comparative studies. He can be reached for comment at [email protected].